


Obvious

by Spunky0ne



Category: Bleach
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-25 21:53:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 39,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4977883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spunky0ne/pseuds/Spunky0ne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As he recovers from his injuries after Aizen's defection, Byakuya realizes that he is in love with his handsome, tattooed fukutaichou and just can't keep it to himself anymore. But can Renji ever love him back?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Be quiet, baka!" hissed Rukia, her voice reaching into the haze in Byakuya's mind and bringing him back from the distant place he had retreated to, as Renji pulled a chair into the hospital room from outside in the hallway, "You'll wake Nii-sama."

"Sorry," Renji muttered, sitting down and looking quietly at his hands.

"Why are you sitting all of the way over there?" his friend asked, "You can come and sit with me...just keep it down, so he can rest."

"I'm fine over here," the redhead said in a low voice, "and anyway, this isn't a social call, Aizen Sousuke just declared war on all of us. It's my job to make sure that nothing else happens to my taichou. We're going to need all of the taichous and fukutaichous we have now to stop him."

Rukia eyed him skeptically for a moment.

"That's not why you're here," she said, glaring at him meaningfully.

"Shut up."

"Why don't you just admit it? You feel guilty about what happened between the two of you. Any idiot can see that."

She chuckled softly.

"Oh, but I forgot, you aren't just any idiot..."

"Did you hear the part where I just told you to shut up?" Renji muttered crossly, "And look who's being noisy now! You tell me I should be quiet. Why don't you take your own advice?"

_Why does it make me feel warm inside to hear them speak to each other that way? It is meaningless conversation...idle banters. But after forty years of not being able to speak to each other..._

_They should hate me for doing that to them. But instead, they sit here at my side, treating me as though I deserve their...attention? Respect? Affection? What made them stay? And why do I not want them to leave? I am going to be fine. I don't need to have my hand held. I made myself strong so that I wouldn't need to lean on anyone. Dependence is a form of weakness...and I cannot afford to be weak._

_Still..._

_I feel something inside._

_What is this?_

The room had fallen quiet again, and Byakuya remained still in the hospital bed, his eyes closed, but wondering if the two had gone. He tried opening an eye and found that Rukia's head was rested on the edge of the bed and her fingers were laced into his. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that Renji was sitting silently in a chair by the door, cutting away at a small piece of wood. He took a breath to speak to the redhead, but was stopped as Unohana taichou entered the room, followed by Kotetsu fukutaichou. Rukia sat up and rubbed her eyes, then stood and moved aside.

"Oh, you're not in the way," Unohana said kindly, "You may stay there, if you like."

"Th-that's all right," Rukia said sleepily, "There is something I have to go and do anyway. I'll be back later."

Byakuya heard a hesitance in her footsteps as she left the room and wondered briefly what might be bothering her.

"Kuchiki taichou," said Unohana taichou, "It is time to change your bandages."

He regarded her with one half-opened eye and managed a short nod.

"Isane," said the healer, "Will you go and bring another roll of bandages? We are nearly out."

"Yes, Unohana taichou," Isane said, flash stepping away.

Byakuya felt Unohana taichou's hands touch his bandages and couldn't quite keep himself from flinching.

_Even after a week of healing, there is still so much pain. I wonder if it is really all physical..._

The healer's cool fingertips made him shiver under her hands.

"My apologies," said Unohana taichou, "You have contracted an infection and are feverish. But not to worry, the antibiotics have already been administered."

The healer paused for a moment.

"Abarai fukutaichou, might I borrow your hands for a moment?" she asked.

Renji made a soft sound of surprise.

"M-me?"

"Yes," said the fourth division taichou, "Isane is still looking for the additional bandages, and I need an extra hand putting a fresh dressing on Kuchiki taichou's wound. Come."

"Uh...sure, no problem," Renji said, standing and crossing the room.

Byakuya caught his breath softly and his eyes opened reflexively as Renji's hands touched his chest. And he was surprised at the odd jolt that passed through him at looking directly into the redhead's eyes for the first time since their battle.

"S-sorry, Taichou," Renji stammered, averting his eyes, "I was clumsy."

"You didn't hurt me," he replied, uncertain why it felt so important to relieve the redhead's discomfort, "I was merely startled."

_More by how his touch resonated than by the fact of being touched._

His hands feel warm, even to my feverish flesh.

"You see," said the healer to Renji, "It looks much better."

"I'll say," Renji agreed, "It looked awfully deep before. I was...well...it was bad. You're a wonder, Unohana taichou."

_He sounds nervous._

_Why?_

Byakuya watched quietly as the healer's hands quickly set the fresh bandages in place, then he closed his eyes.

"Here are the bandages, Taichou," said Isane, walking back into the room.

Renji's hands left his chest and it seemed to grow a shade colder inside the noble.

"Abarai-san," said Unohana taichou, "Why don't you go and make Kuchiki taichou some tea? He needs to get some fluids. You can also check and see if there is any fresh soup. I think he's well enough to manage it now."

"Sure thing," Renji said.

Byakuya could still hear an odd hitch in the redhead's step as he left the room. It set him thinking about their battle again, and brought back the cold feeling he had felt before.

_He was so angry...so hateful. Why is he here, helping me now? Is it really just because we need the power of the remaining taichous to defeat Aizen, or is there more to it than that?_

"Are you all right?" Unohana taichou asked suddenly, "You looked distressed for a moment."

Byakuya quickly gathered himself.

"I am fine," he answered, "I was just...distracted."

"Ah, it happens," said his colleague, smiling sweetly, "Now, your wound is improved enough that we will start getting you up and around again. We can begin in the morning. Once you wake, you should walk around the ward once every hour or so. Have someone accompany you, in case you need assistance."

"I can help," offered Renji, walking back into the room and setting a tray bearing tea and soup, in front of him.

Byakuya breathed in the scents of the food and tea and felt his stomach rumble.

"Ah, you are much improved," said the healer.

She looked more closely at the tray and smiled.

"Abarai-san seems to have found something a bit better than what our kitchens have to offer," she commented.

"That's all right, isn't it?" asked Renji, "It's just...I thought that, well, Taichou is kinda specific about what he likes, so I went back to the division and made the tea there. The soup was some I made yesterday."

"It's fine," said the healer, "I am sure that Kuchiki taichou will appreciate the gesture."

Byakuya found himself suddenly speechless as Renji's eyes touched his for a moment, but he managed a look of gratitude and a short nod. He picked up the teacup and sipped at it quietly as the healers left the room. Renji said nothing more, but returned to the chair in the doorway and continued to whittle away at the piece of wood he had been working at before. Byakuya slowly consumed the tea and soup, while stealing glances at the man by his door. He finished his meal and set the tray aside, then rested his back against the pillows and looked quietly out the window. As the minutes ticked silently by, he wondered more and more about the presence of his fukutaichou...about the things he had said, his nervousness, and the perfectly made soup and tea he had brought.

_Does he feel guilty for attacking me? He shouldn't. I stood between Rukia and him. And this time, he wasn't going to back down. But he saw, in the end. He saw how Aizen used me against her. He saw how it was easy to deceive me...to turn me against my own sister. And who are we fooling, anyway? Rukia was never my sister, really. I treated her as an obligation and kept her at a distance, because even looking at her hurt too much. No wonder Aizen found it so easy to manipulate me. Renji is more of a brother to her than I will ever be._

_Renji is..._

He felt an odd catch inside his healing heart as he remembered watching the redhead's ban kai emerge. He wasn't often surprised by people, but Renji had surprised him with both how strong he had become, and how devoted to Rukia he was.

 _Such loyalty_.

His heart twinged painfully.

 _To her_. 

_Not to me. He hated me for taking her. And I understand. But why is he here now? If he hates me so much, why is he taking care of me?_

"Renji," he said, nearly startling himself by speaking, "Why are you here?"

Renji refused to meet his eyes.

"I'm here...because you're my taichou," he answered softly.

"You probably wish I were dead. I imagine that's what you're thinking now."

"No, you're wrong," Renji insisted, "If you were to die, then what motivation would I have to get stronger? And in fact, Taichou..."

Renji broke off and Byakuya stared as Ichigo burst in through the window. As the two yelled at each other, Byakuya's mind went back to Renji's words. He wondered what the redhead had been about to say, but was distracted out of wondering as Ichigo hastily apologized for barging in, and left. And in the wake of the youth's departure, Byakuya found himself unable to summon the nerve to ask.

_Why can't I just say the words? What is wrong with me? And why is it that I don't want him to leave, any more than he apparently wants to. Does this mean...he is going to...forgive me? And why do I ache to be forgiven?_

_Why do I feel so odd inside?_

He fell silent as Renji reclaimed his place in the doorway. He looked out at the blue sky and listened to the birdsong as the afternoon crawled by. As evening approached, he looked over at the redhead.

"You should go," he suggested quietly, "I am sure you have things to do."

Renji looked back at him for a moment, then rose silently and walked out of the room.

_Why do I feel sadness inside, when I told him to go?_

He watched as darkness slowly fell, and the stars and moon began to appear. He sank into the beauty of the full moon and tried to let everything else go. But just when he thought he had escaped the confines of the fourth division and found some peace, he found himself thinking of his battle with Renji again. And as he watched the reveal of Renji's ban kai in his mind, he felt again, the sudden, beautiful shock, the pounding of his heart, the widening of his eyes as the skeletal snake rose up before him for the first time.

A shaft of guilt passed through him, thinking how it was supposed to be that when a subordinate revealed his ban kai to his taichou, it should be a moment of mutual celebration. His own had been...and he had looked forward to having the same thing happen between him and...someone. He didn't have a child. And Renji had been the closest thing to an apprentice he had had as a taichou.

_But he only accepted my intercession because he wanted to watch me closely...because he wanted to learn how to defeat me. And as oblivious as I was, I didn't see it. I never even considered that he would turn on me. I underestimated his determination, his powers, and his fury. I saw him as a loyal, heeling dog._

_But I don't see him that way now._

"Taichou?"

Byakuya blinked in surprise and looked up as Renji set a tray of food in his lap.

"I thought you might be hungry, and figured you'd like this better than hospital food."

Byakuya took a shaky breath.

"You don't have to do this, Renji...all of this running about and doing everything for me. We already opened Pandora's box. The truth has been told. We know each other in full now."

Renji was silent for a moment.

"And...that means...that you won't forgive me?" Renji asked finally.

"What?" Byakuya asked, frowning, "Me forgive you?"

"I know," Renji went on, "I turned on you. I used my place near you to try to discover how to defeat you. I have this reputation for being loyal...for hating liars. But I stooped to lying. I was dishonest with you. And I'm sorry."

"You stood up for Rukia, a person who is more rightfully your sister than mine," Byakuya whispered, "I was going to let her die. I would have been willing to kill her myself. I was completely fooled by Aizen's deceptions. But you stood by her."

"But I misjudged you!" Renji exclaimed, "I had it in for you from the moment you showed up and..."

"Took Rukia away from you?"

"Taichou, I should have been happy for her! We never had family. You were going to give her that."

"I was never like that with her. I couldn't even look at her. I sent her off to the thirteenth division..."

"Because seeing this person," Renji went on, "who looked so much like your late wife was probably unbearable."

"That doesn't excuse what I did...how I failed her," Byakuya replied quietly.

"And you shouldn't excuse what I did...how I failed you, Taichou. So yeah, I'm here. I'm...doing what I should have done from the start. I'm trying to be the fukutaichou I should have been...and I'm hoping that you won't just have me transferred."

Byakuya stared at him in surprise.

"You...still want to work with me? After everything?"

_I don't deserve this, Renji. You should walk away now._

"I know I betrayed you. And I don't deserve it, but I still feel like there is a lot I can learn from you. Please, Taichou, I want to stay in the sixth. I want to stay with you."

_And for some reason I cannot begin to fathom, I am desperate for you not to go._

_Renji..._

Byakuya took a steadying breath.

"I imagine," he said softly, "that given the situation...how we were all so taken in by Aizen, we should be willing to make some allowances and let go of what happened during that time."

He felt a soft, lovely jolt as his eyes met Renji's and he read the hopefulness in the redhead's expression.

"So...if you forgive me for allowing myself to be set against Rukia and you, then I will forgive you for attacking me."

"Th-thank you..." Renji began, but Byakuya waved him off.

"With the understanding that you do not have to grovel. It is demeaning. I can survive for another day or two on what they have here. You do not have to bring me my meals."

Renji broke into a grin that made Byakuya's heart skip.

"You sure about that? I think you might be really sorry."

"Probably," the noble said dryly, "but it is better than watching you stumble about, making unnecessary apologies and overcompensating."

"Well...what if I just like doing it? What if I like helping you?" Renji asked.

Byakuya let his lips curve upward slightly.

"Then your assistance is appreciated, of course," he said sedately.

"Yeah," laughed Renji, "I knew you didn't really want that hospital food!"

"Very astute, Renji," Byakuya answered, a swell of warmth passing through him.

_Something is happening._

_I wonder...if he feels it too._


	2. Curiosity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya explores his feelings for Renji...

Byakuya opened his eyes and was, for the most part, very pleased to be waking up in his own very comfortable bed at Kuchiki Manor. The darker, more earthy colors of the cherry wood furniture and the complimentary tones of the walls, floors and bed coverings gave the place a warmer feel than the coldly bright environs of the healing center. The scents of flowers, water, grass and sakura blended sweetly on the light breezes that drifted in from the gardens, through the large double doors that, except when it was cold enough to snow, remained open. He preferred too, the fresher air, and the sounds of birds and soft voices that felt more familiar to him.

_But even being more comfortable had its drawbacks, it seemed._

"You look much improved," said a male voice from the doorway.

Byakuya looked up and greeted his blue-eyed cousin's smile with a nod of greeting.

"Tetsuya," he said, as both an acknowledgement and an invitation to enter.

The younger man walked into the room and sat down next to the bed as an even younger cousin entered the room, bearing a cup of tea on a tray.

"Arigato, Torio," he told the youth, "That will be all, for now."

"Yes, Byakuya-sama."

"I apologize for not being here when you arrived," Tetsuya went on as Torio left the room, "But in the wake of what happened at Sokyoku Hill, you can imagine that our council has had its hands full, making plans and preparing for your protection once you were released."

"And being both an elder and the head of household security, you were kept quite occupied until now. I understand."

"But things are well in hand now...or as well in hand as they can be, for the moment. So while we have a moment to breathe, I wanted to visit you and see how you were coping."

"I am fine," Byakuya told him, "much better, now that I can recuperate in my own home."

"Yes, you never were one who enjoyed the healing center much, ne? But you are home now, and I have made certain that, in addition to being more comfortable than the healing center, our home will be a safe place for you while you recover."

"Again, you have my gratitude, Tetsuya."

"You are welcome, Byakuya-sama. And now that all of the house business has been seen to, is there anything my cousin needs? I see you have tea and lunch is being made, but is there anything else?"

Byakuya sighed, thinking how much he suddenly missed Renji's presence in his doorway at the healing center, but as much as he had tried, he hadn't been able to think of a tactful way to ask the redhead to come to the manor. And there was little hope he would come on his own. The redhead had never set foot in the manor, not once yet, even since his recent promotion to Squad Six fukutaichou.

"What is that expression?" asked Tetsuya, frowning, "Are you in pain, Cousin?"

Of course he noticed. Tetsuya is as perceptive as he is protective.

"I am fine," he assured Tetsuya, "I simply..."

He broke off as Torio entered the room again.

"Gomen nasai, Byakuya-sama," the youth said, "Abarai fukutaichou has arrived with some papers that need to be signed."

Tetsuya observed the sudden flash of interest in his cousin's eyes and smiled.

"I will come back later," he said, excusing himself.

"Wait a moment," Byakuya said, placing a hand on his cousin's arm.

He looked back at Torio.

"Send Renji in," he said quietly.

Tetsuya relaxed in his chair as Renji stepped into the room.

"Sorry to bother you, Taichou," the redhead said apologetically, "but there were several things that I knew you would want to approve quickly to get things prepared at the division."

"Of course," said Byakuya, taking the papers from Renji's hand, "Renji, I don't believe you have met my cousin, Tetsuya. He is head of house security, here at the manor and is also one of our elders."

"An elder?" Renji queried, "Sorry, but he doesn't look...ah..."

"What?" asked Tetsuya, looking amused, "not old and stern enough? I hear that quite a bit."

"Luckily for us," said Byakuya, "it is not simply age that is required to be an elder. My cousin has proven himself invaluable, first as my personal attendant, then as a liaison to the council and finally a full member."

"That's great. Nice to meet you, Tetsuya," Renji said, smiling and extending a hand.

"The pleasure is mine," said the blue-eyed noble, accepting the proffered hand warmly, "I have heard a great deal about you, Abarai-san."

"You can just call me Renji."

"Renji-san, then."

Renji accepted the signed papers back from Byakuya and started to excuse himself, but was stopped as Byakuya surprised himself and interrupted him.

"Renji, there is a lot piling up at the division, I am sure, and although I cannot go there, certainly, you could bring some of the paperwork here for completion. I would be glad to have your assistance. I would hate to see our division suffer due to my long absence."

"Oh," said Renji, "I can manage. I mean, that's why I'm there...to make sure things continue to go smoothly, so that you can get your rest. Just leave things to me."

"But there are some things that I would still prefer to be involved in."

"Uh...s-sure, Taichou," said Renji, "I guess I could stop by and we could talk about the important stuff now and then."

"I will inform the staff to allow you unrestricted access," said Tetsuya.

"Thanks," said the redhead, turning towards the door, "Well, see you later, Taichou. Nice meeting you, Tetsuya-san."

Byakuya watched him leave and let out a soft sigh. He felt his cousin's eyes on him and looked up. Tetsuya smiled.

"Renji-san has a very bright presence," noted Tetsuya quietly, "Everything feels a tad too quiet when he leaves the room, ne?"

Byakuya's eyes narrowed.

"What was that you said?" he asked blithely.

"Oh nothing," said Tetsuya, rising from the chair and turning to go, "I will be back. I have some things to attend to."

Byakuya watched him leave, then settled back against the pillows and sipped calmly at his tea.

_So Tetsuya senses these odd feelings coming from me. But, of course he would. He has been close to me since we were teens. It makes sense that he would notice. Renji has only been my fukutaichou for a couple of months. Yet, he has been aware of me, and carefully observing me for some time. But then, he wasn't doing so because of any real interest. He was only searching for weaknesses that he could exploit in his personal mission to overcome me in battle._

He sighed again and tried to put the redhead out of his mind and just enjoy the peace of being home. But although he usually honestly enjoyed the tranquility of the manor, now it seemed overly quiet...a shade too peaceful. Tetsuya's words came back to him.

_"Renji-san has a very bright presence. Everything feels a tad too quiet when he leaves the room, ne?"_

He finished his tea, then dropped off to sleep still thinking about those words.

_Byakuya felt a warm presence somewhere nearby and opened his eyes. He knew that the room should have been dark so late at night, but a strong shine was coming in through the doorway. It was as though the moon was shining with extra power. He stared into the blinding light and saw that it was bending around someone who sat in a chair by the garden doors._

_"Renji?" he said softly._

_He felt a heady jolt inside as Renji's head turned, and his beautifully lit face looked back at the noble._

_He got up from the chair and walked towards the bed, smiling in a way that seemed to melt the noble inside._

_"I hope you don't mind," he said, moving closer and sitting down on the bed, "You did say that you wanted me to come back, ne?"_

_Byakuya stared at him wordlessly. Renji reached out with one hand and let his rough fingers play over Byakuya's fine, porcelain cheek._

_"Abarai..."_

_"I've been wanting to do that for a long time," Renji said, his fingers capturing the noble's face and holding him spellbound as he leaned closer._

_"What are you doing?" Byakuya asked, wide-eyed and completely forgetting about what would be an appropriately dignified response._

_All that mattered was that the redhead had finally noticed him...really noticed him. Not because of a vendetta or to protect Rukia, but had really noticed the person beneath the nobility...beneath the haori and clan leadership...the core of the person he loved, and was embracing that truth._

_"Didn't you notice the light all around me?" Renji said, gazing raptly down into his eyes and stealing his breath away, "That light is there because I found the way."_

_"Y-you...?"_

_"I know now how to reach the moon...Byakuya."_

_He knew he should have objected at the intimate use of his name, but he was left inexplicably speechless. Renji continued to keep his fingers curved around the noble's face and leaned farther forward, closing the distance. The light seemed to explode around them as Renji's hot, masculine lips crashed together with his. He wasn't sure if the light around Renji had blinded him, or if he had closed his eyes. He couldn't see Renji anymore, but moaned helplessly at the lovely eruption of his powerful flavor and scent as they struck his shocked senses. He met the redhead's rough, hungry lips repeatedly, at first, tight-lipped and tensed. But then, he felt Renji's tongue run along his lips and opened his eyes to look at him. The redhead's red-brown eyes were firelit and passionate. They dove into his and Byakuya felt his body go limp and pliant as Renji crawled onto his bed and laid down on top of him. The rough, red lips took his again, then Renji's tongue thrust into his mouth and probed deeply, touching, caressing and tasting him. He moaned Renji's name into the redhead's mouth, quivering at the feel of the other man's hardness touching him through their clothes. Renji pulled away for a moment, smiling as he reached down to undo the tie on Byakuya's yukata._

Byakuya sat up suddenly, his heart pounding and his breathing fast and shallow, a deep flush on his face and throat as he realized where his dream had been leading him.

_I am...physically attracted to...Renji?_

He had realized, of course, that he had a soft spot for Renji, but had read it more like what he felt in the way of caring for and protecting Rukia. He liked being in Renji's presence and hated the thought of anything bad befalling him.

_But...wanting Renji sexually?_

He thought back to his relationship with Hisana, how he had found her in the midst of being attacked in Inuzuri and had found himself wanting desperately to protect her. Those feelings had blossomed into love, and he had married her. But what he felt for her had always been more protective than passionate. They had spent much more time acting as friends than lovers. And in any case, her fragility had made him wary of being anything but gentle with her.

But in his dream, the rough way in which Renji had touched him had been as erotic as the redhead's powerful kisses. He liked the feeling of being gripped tightly and held down. And when Renji had started to undress him...

He felt an intense ache in his loins at the thought.

_I didn't know that I could feel that way about another man. And I wonder if that is all right or if it is wrong. I know that there are some males in the Gotei 13 who prefer other males, and there are some female couples as well. I never thought it particularly wrong for them to indulge in sex with people of the same gender, but I never considered myself indulging in it. I guess I have been open to the idea. I understand that I am expected to make heirs, but..._

He shook his head to drive away the thought.

"This is crazy," he whispered.

He remembered some relatively innocent experimentations with Tetsuya when they were teens, but although they had kissed each other to see what it was like, they hadn't progressed to touching each other. They had touched themselves in each other's presence. It was fairly common even among heterosexual boys to experiment with sex alongside each other in that way. And he was certain that his feelings for Tetsuya, then and now, were affectionate and protective, but never amorous.

So, why did he have such feelings for Renji?

And the harder question was, why did he have those feelings for Renji, when the redhead had admitted to plotting against him, to hating him from the beginning, to seeking closeness and gaining his trust only to find a way to beat him? And despite Renji's current penitence, could his fukutaichou still be trying to gain closeness to deceive him?

_No. I felt his sincerity when he was with me in the healing center. And if he was trying to deceive me and get closer, he would have been much more eager to accept my invitation to come to Kuchiki Manor. He seemed more flustered by the invitation than eager to accept it. I hope that I didn't embarrass him or make him feel uncomfortable. I will have to be more cautious about what I say to him. Even if I am attracted to Renji, I have no idea if he would be accepting. I have never seen him acting as though he was attracted to someone, male or female. Although, I suspected he might be interested in Rukia that way. But they seem much more like brother and sister._

He let out an unsteady breath and tried to ignore the throbbing in his groin as he thought again about his dream. And after a time, it became clear that if he expected to be able to sleep, he was going to have to take care of the problem.

It made him feel a bit childish to be controlled by his impulses in such a way.

_But it wouldn't hurt to think of Renji._

_He doesn't have to know about it. No one does. It is late at night and quiet now. I can think of him kissing me like that..._

One slender hand slipped down beneath the blankets and brushed lightly against the hard bulge beneath his yukata. A lovely shock ran through his body and he began to feel somewhat dizzy. He imagined again that Renji was there, leaning over him as he laid in his bed, and reaching for the tie at his waist.

His hand pulled on the tie and he closed his eyes, imagining looking up into that handsome, moonlit face, seeing Renji smile as he peeled away the noble's yukata and slid a rough hand down his bare chest, brushing his nipples teasingly. Although his own hand was much softer and cooler than Renji's, he knew how it would feel, because of Renji having touched his chest with those rough, warm hands while Unohana taichou had changed the dressing on his wound. And so he could imagine those glaring, red-brown eyes transfixing him, the rough hands sliding down his body.

He paused, just short of his genitals, his mouth dry and his heart racing. Then, he touched himself experimentally and found the area wet and slightly sticky with arousal. He captured the moisture on his fingers and rubbed it around, increasing the beautiful, longing flutters inside him. It felt intoxicating thinking of Renji touching him that way. His fingers moved down lower to explore himself more intimately, then tremblingly moved down farther, stopping at his virgin entrance, and wondering...

_What would it be like?_

_What would it feel like to have his fingers inside me?_

_To have him penetrate me?_

_What would it feel like to have him on top of me, giving me those hard kisses and pleasuring me?_

He went oddly numb at the thought and felt his body seize. Warmth erupted onto his hand and his eyes closed.

_Is this sinful?_

_Is it wicked to think this way?_

_I wonder if Renji has ever thought about me this way?_

_Or if he ever will?_

_Is this just a stupid, naive dream?_

_Or is there a chance that it could become real?_

_Renji..._

In his quarters at the sixth division, Renji sat up in bed, grinning sheepishly as he encountered the warm, stickiness that had flowed out onto his naked flesh.

"Must have been a good dream," he mumbled sleepily, "Wish t'hell I could remember it..."


	3. Observations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya examines Renji's behavior, looking for signs that the redhead might want him too.

Chapter 3: Observations

I wonder if this will be awkward. I hope it will not. I hope it isn't to much to ask that things go back to being somewhat the way they were. It always seemed comfortable, peaceful, even enjoyable...although I could tell that sitting still for hours does not come naturally for someone like him. He was always respectful and did his best to be calm and attentive. But looking back, it seems more calculated, more like he was watching my every move out of the corner of his eye. I wonder what he learned while watching me that way. What might I learn from watching him?

"Taichou, welcome back," Renji said as Byakuya opened the door and entered the sixth division for the first time since his injury.

Other voices rose up as well and other squad members stepped between them, offering their greetings, and saying how relieved they were to have him back. He noticed that Renji had stepped back to let the others move closer to him. He set a cup of tea on Byakuya's desk and returned to his, beginning to work, even as the noble finished accepting the greetings of the other squad members, then sat down in his chair and prepared to begin his own work.

"Arigato, Renji," he said quietly, picking up the tea and sipping at it absently as he addressed the reports in front of him.

He felt the redhead's red-brown eyes touch him for a moment, and caught the brief smile that touched his lips, out of the corner of an eye. He had long ago mastered the ability to complete his paperwork, almost without thought, and was able to do so while engaging his peripheral vision to see what he might have missed before.

Renji sat, slightly hunched over his desk, staring down at the reports in front of him with a bored look in those feral eyes. But every now and then, he noticed the smallest movement, when Renji would sneak small glances at him. And as he continued to work, he wondered if it was just second nature for Renji to glance at him, to use the quiet moments to see if there was anything useful to be learned from him.

He felt sad inside, thinking of Renji watching and plotting against him, on the one hand making his tea and on the other hand, wanting to see him in pain...bloodied and falling to the ground at his feet.

Did he really dream of those things before? Does he want them still?

He thought of the beautiful dream he had had of the redhead...sitting in the open bedroom doors, drenched in sweet, bright moonlight, relaxed and happy, proud and bold, not hunched over and looking like he was forcing himself to be tranquil to make his superior happy.

It made him want to see Renji in his own environment...to see him laughing and joking around, eager about something and gregarious. As the hours went on and the office returned to normal, he continued to imagine it. And it was in the midst of that, he noticed that when Renji glanced over at him, he began to witness two emotions beneath the looks...curiosity and concern.

So it seems that, as oblivious as he can be to matters of kido and reiatsu sensing, he knows me so well that he senses something is different, and he is curious to know what. But is it in the way of serving my needs as his taichou? Or is he still trying to master me?

"Is...everything all right, Taichou?" Renji asked suddenly.

He started at the fact that he hadn't been aware of Renji leaving his desk and coming to sit down. So deep in his thoughts about the redhead, he hadn't seen Renji come near. But now that he was closer, sitting in the chair near his, Byakuya felt the warm touch of his reiatsu and scented him. It was difficult to force himself not to react visibly. He lifted an eye from his work, questioningly.

"Everything is fine," he answered.

Normally, he would have let it go at that, but he was curious about what had given him away.

"Why do you ask?"

Surprise registered in Renji's eyes and he cleared his throat to give himself time to think.

"You...just...your reiatsu seemed...well...off."

Byakuya's lips twitched very slightly.

"I think the long hours of recuperation may have made my mind more lax," he commented.

"You look kinda tired, actually. It's your first day back. Maybe you should take a little break and rest a bit. You could work in your quarters for a while."

And when he said the words, Byakuya read the sincerity in them. But he also caught the odd, momentary flash of something else. It made him wonder what had passed through the redhead's mind...if it was even related to him. And suddenly, he had to know. He sensed only one way to find out.

"I believe you are right," he said quietly, and he stood.

Renji gazed up at him in surprise, then was on his feet and helping to carry some of the things he would need. He didn't remember Renji ever setting foot beyond his doorway before. It was both strange and oddly beautiful to see him there, arranging his papers so that everything was close at hand, then freshening his tea and starting out of the room again.

"You may leave the door open," Byakuya said, "so that you may come and go as you need to...for us to discuss any issues that arise."

He liked the fact that his room was angled so that he could lie in bed and still see Renji sitting at his desk. Then, something else occurred to him. His lips curved upward at the idea that came into his mind.

He positioned himself near the edge of the bed, where he could observe Renji's reactions, then reached up and unwound the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu. He folded it carefully and laid it over the chair next to his bed. Next, he slid the fingerless gloves off of his slender hands. Renji shifted in his chair and looked a bit uncomfortable, but it might have just been that he had sat for too long that day. Byakuya set the gloves on his nightstand and reached up to remove the kenseiken. As he did, he felt Renji watching, again with that curious look in his eye. And it made sense, because the man he had watched for so long, the man he had plotted against and thought that he knew...was doing something out of character and unexpected. The kenseiken slid out of his hair and several silken locks fell down over his left eye. Renji straightened in his chair and Byakuya realized that it shouldn't have taken the redhead nearly so long to finish the paper he was holding in his hand. Renji seemed to realize the same thing and hastily moved on to the nest page.

So he notices me...but to what end? Is he still studying me to find weaknesses...or...has he noticed that he is my weakness...

He slipped out of his shoes, then realized that he was still wearing his uniform. And he thought it would be oddly uncomfortable to lie down in bed that way. He swept the haori off of his shoulders...then very recklessly decided to change with his bedroom door open.

It would have been too obvious to stand where Renji could see, but he realized suddenly that one of the mirrors in the room was angled so that from just within the closet, he could see around the corner to where Renji was working. And if he could see Renji, then the redhead could see him...

He tried to move in a relaxed way, releasing the tie at his waist and sliding out of his shihakushou. He heard Renji clear his throat softly and barely suppressed a smile as he felt those eyes touch lightly on his revealed body. A flush touched his skin, and he was a bit hasty in wrapping a yukata around himself. His heart pounded strangely as he saw Renji biting gently at his lips and closing his eyes for a moment.

What could he be thinking? Does he think I'm horrid for revealing myself so...so scandalously? Was I too obvious?

He realized that he had been standing still too long and moved back to his bed, settling down and working quietly for a time. But working while reclining left him too relaxed, and before he realized what was happening, he drifted off.

He wasn't sure how long he slept. But he woke again to a presence being in his room. He would normally have sat up immediately, but sensing that it was Renji, he relaxed and opened his eyes into slits, curious to see what the man would do.

He found himself touched by what happened.

"Taichou?" Renji said, by way of determining if he was merely resting, or if he had actually fallen asleep.

Byakuya held still and breathed slowly, wondering if the sound of his racing heart could be heard or if only he noticed. Renji looked at him for a moment, then seemed to relax.

"So you do sleep sometimes," he commented, so softly that Byakuya could barely make out the words.

Renji moved closer and began quietly removing the papers from his bed.

"Don't want these getting knocked around if you roll over, ne?" he said, smiling a cute, affectionate smile.

Byakuya risked a deeper, sighing breath and rolled onto his stomach, curling comfortably around the pillows and stretching out. He felt a warm tickle inside as he felt the blankets move and settle over him.

"Get some rest, Taichou," Renji said, very softly, "I can take care of the rest of things for today."

He heard Renji's footsteps moving away and lifted his head off of the pillow to look as the door to his quarters closed.

He did sleep afterwards, actually better than he had in a long time. Even with the door closed between them, he could still feel Renji's warm presence and occasionally heard his voice sounding in the office. In particular, he heard when Hisagi Shuuhei entered the office.

"Oi, Renji," he said casually, "Are you coming to the club tonight?"

"Eh..." said the redhead, "It's Taichou's first day back from sick leave. He'll probably have me here for half the night. I kept on top of things, but we have to get back in sync and new stuff keeps coming in...you know..."

"Yeah, well, we'll be there. Hope you can come by."

"Yeah, me too," replied Renji as the office door opened, then closed again.

Byakuya heard Renji sigh.

"Wishful thinking," he muttered, settling back down to work.

Byakuya slipped out of bed and slipped a comfortable wrap around himself, then picked up the work he had completed earlier from the nightstand. He walked out into the office and placed it in the outbox, noticing then, how late it had gotten, and the fact that Renji was still working.

"Did you get some good rest, Taichou?" asked the redhead, without looking up.

"Yes, arigato. I think you may have been right about me needing more of it."

"I see you still managed not to neglect your work," Renji chuckled, "If it was me, I would have nodded off long before I finished. I can't work in bed. I get too relaxed. It seems you're much more disciplined."

"I do what needs to be done."

He sat down in his chair and signed off on the reports that Renji had left for him.

"Abarai," he said, then he realized that he had spoken before quite thinking out how to say what he wanted to.

He didn't want to seem like he had been eavesdropping.

"You seem to have kept things well-in-hand during my absence. There is nothing else that really needs to be done tonight. You are dismissed."

"Wh-what? Really?" Renji said, looking as cute with a surprised expression as he did with a curious one, "Are you sure, Taichou? I can stay if you..."

"No, I am going back to bed. I'll be staying here tonight."

"Oh...okay," said the redhead, "Thanks, Taichou! Let me get you your evening tea before I go."

"That's not necessary. I can..."

But Renji had already disappeared down the hallway. Byakuya shook his head and walked back to his room. He laid down in his bed and waited quietly until Renji's footsteps approached and the redhead tapped lightly on his door and entered the room.

"Here you go, Taichou," he said, depositing the tea on the nightstand, "Sweet dreams."

If he had actually been planning to go to sleep, it would have been a perfect moment, with Renji standing by the bed, smiling at him and looking happy and relaxed. But he only waited until Renji left the room and closed the door behind him.

Then, Byakuya slipped out of bed and hastily dressed in a simple shihakushou and pulled his hair back in a hair tie. He wrapped a hooded cloak around his shoulders and slipped out the sliding glass door. He waited until he saw Renji leave the office, then followed him, carefully staying in the shadows and suppressing his reiatsu. He followed the redhead easily, already knowing the location of the club that Renji's friend had referred to. He watched as the redhead entered the club, then slipped around to the back, careful to avoid the groups of people smoking and talking outside. He found a small window that looked into the club and watched as Renji approached his friends.

He seemed to become a completely different being, letting his uniform open a bit more and dropping down into a chair, where he had a drink and began chatting with his friends. He could catch bits of their conversation and was mildly surprised when the conversation turned in his direction.

"So, your taichou was back at work today, eh," said Kira, "I'm surprised you made it here at all tonight. I would have thought that things would have piled up."

"Naw," Renji said flippantly, "I know I complain about Taichou having a stick up his ass about things, but it does make it go easier when he's not there. Things practically run themselves."

"But it must be hard, having him there, breathing down your neck, after being in charge while he was recovering."

"Yeah, well, he is the taichou. That's his job, ne? And it wasn't so bad. He did let me go early, though he may have just been weary from overdoing it. He'll probably go back to being more himself after some sleep."

"I wish our taichou'd get knocked out for a while," complained Yumichika, "It's a bother dealing with him preferring to spar rather than do the paperwork. We end up doing it all, or it wouldn't get done."

"Oi, let's stop talking about work and do some relaxing," said Shuuhei, "Care to dance, Rangiku?"

Byakuya watched as the two rose and joined the other people dancing. He wondered if Renji would dance too, thinking how lovely it would be to watch. And as though he had read the noble's mind, Renji got up and took Momo's hand.

"Come on, kiddo, let's not let them have all of the fun, eh?" Renji said.

He imagined for a moment that the words had been said to him, that his was the hand Renji had taken, and that he was the one Renji was holding on to and smiling at. The song itself was fast and beautifully rhythmic, but Byakuya saw everything in slow motion...Renji's laughing eyes closing, then opening again, the way his body looked as he turned, the hypnotic, swaying hips, and the way he leaned close to say something to Momo. He could almost scent the sake on his breath, feel that warmth against his own skin. It would be heaven, he thought, to be able to go somewhere like this and dance with Renji. Here, he was himself. And that self was sweet and sexy, bold and confident, not quiet, accommodating, efficient and obedient.

But, the noble thought sadly, he had left such frivolity behind a long time ago. He only engaged in ballroom dancing during formal occasions and wouldn't dare move the way Renji did...at least, not where anyone else would see him.

"You enjoying the view, sweetheart?" asked a rough, very drunk sounding voice behind him.

He should have been able to incapacitate the man easily, but the drunk man stumbled forward clumsily and the noble's punch went wide. He didn't dare use his powers or it would be obvious he was there.

"Let's have a dance, shall we?" said the man, wrapping his arms tightly around the cloaked and hooded noble, "You smell sweet..."

He saw several of his own squad members turning.

"Hey, let her go," one called out, "Pick on someone your own size."

The man's arms tightened around him and he pressed up against Byakuya, leaving no opening for a strike with fist, elbow or knee.

"Hey!" yelled Renji's voice suddenly, "Get your fucking hands off her or I'll tear you a new asshole!"

He had never heard Renji speak in such a way in his presence. He turned his face aside as the redhead approached, and managed a quick blow to the man's midsection that dropped him in his tracks. Renji slid to a stop, staring.

"Nice move..." he said, looking closer.

Byakuya disappeared in a flash step, racing out of the club district and back to the division. His heart pounding, he shed the cloak and shihakushou, and put his yukata back on. He slipped back into bed and swore to himself he'd never do anything so reckless again.

But all through the night, the image of Renji tormented him...the bright, charismatic smile, the loosened shihakushou, his swaying hips and how he had leaned close to say something to Momo.

What is wrong with me? 

Why can't I stop thinking about him?

Back at the club, Renji watched as the girl disappeared down the street. He looked at the collapsed drunk man and gave him an annoyed kick in the ribs.

"That's no way to treat a lady!" he said, disgustedly.

He walked out of the alley behind the club, scenting something odd on the breeze.

Sakura? 

But there aren't any trees around here...

Then, he remembered a brief flash of a slender, pale hand and a few strands of raven black hair that had escaped the cloak that the person wore.

"Nah..." he chided himself, "Couldn't be..."

But to be sure, he left the club and walked back to the sixth division. And Renji's world fell neatly back in order upon finding Byakuya sleeping soundly, curled cutely around his pillows and almost smiling in his sleep. He shook his head and left the room, then went to his own quarters.

That was just silly.

Taichou? At a dance club?

No way...


	4. Only Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya has a dream about Renji.

Still curled around the pillows in his comfortable bed at the sixth division, Byakuya moved in his sleep, and felt the approach of a lovely, wishful dream. He felt a sensation like falling, and happily disappeared into it...

A set of double doors opened in front of him, and he passed through the entry of a palatial estate that he had never visited before. The servants at the door bowed in greeting, and welcomed him inside. His field of vision was, of course, slightly reduced by the white satin mask he wore, and his body cloaked in a finely made costume of an angel...flowing white robes, white ribboned sandals, long white gloves, shapely, but not too large, white wings and a small, golden halo.

He left the entry and proceeded down the long, ornately decorated hallway, admiring the artistry of the tall pillars and intricate moldings, the thickly carpeted walkway and the beautiful paintings that decorated the walls. At the end of the hallway, he climbed the wide steps of the grand staircase and proceeded up to the second floor, where he followed several other guests into a huge ballroom.

The festivities were already in full swing, with traditional ballroom music playing, and smiling couples swirling around the dance floor, their costumes creating a pretty, moving mosaic. Byakuya stepped to the side, working his way around the edges of the room and settling for a place near the open balcony doors. He watched the dancers, whirl and sway gracefully in front of him, observing as what were most probably men, bowed before the prettily dressed women and extended their hands, inviting them into the dance.

As much as he loved the environment, Byakuya balked at the very idea of asking someone to dance, and instead simply stood at a distance, his eyes following them as they seemed to float around the room. He drifted on the sound of the music and had almost disappeared into it, when all at once, the music fell silent and the dancers stopped. The partygoers stared in silence as a man in a devil costume walked in through the large, open doors and slowly made his way across the room. He stopped in front of Byakuya, his glaring brown eyes boring down into the noble's, as Byakuya stared back and waited in silence.

"Come now, my angel," the man said, in Aizen Sousuke's voice, "You should be dancing with us...held tightly in someone's strong arms to make sure that you don't fall."

"I am not inclined to dance with you," Byakuya said, frowning, "I am waiting for someone."

Aizen laughed softly.

"You are? Well then..."

He turned to the frozen partygoers.

"Who here has a claim on my angel? Come forward and coax him onto the dance floor. It is a travesty to see him mooning about, waiting endlessly. Will no one claim my angel's hand?"

Two men dressed as lesser demons stepped forward, and ran menacing eyes warningly around the room.

"You see," Aizen said, his hot hand taking hold of Byakuya's more slender, cooler one, "There is no one here for you, but me, my angel. Come, let us dance."

"You tried to kill my sister!" Byakuya objected, trying to pull his hand away, "I'll never dance with you! I despise you!"

"Well," said Aizen, pulling him close and stealing his halo, "Love and hatred are closer emotions than you would think, ne?"

"Unhand me, you foul traitor!" Byakuya snapped, trying again to pull away.

"I don't think so...angel," Aizen said, his eyes glowing with power.

Byakuya's body froze and refused to move as Aizen wrapped his arms around the noble and dark, chilling music began to play. He stared helplessly into the devil's eyes and felt himself starting to fall.

But just as Aizen lowered his lips to the noble's, the entire house rumbled and a familiar shriek broke through the music.

"I'll save you, Taichou!" yelled Renji, who was dressed in an erotically loosened shihakushou, unmasked, and sweeping in on the flaming red mane of the skeletal snake.

The snake bore down on Aizen and the two others, loosing a fiery red blast that exploded all around him, forcing Aizen and his minions back, but leaving Byakuya, the other guests and the room completely untouched. He flash stepped onto the snake as it turned towards the window, but gave a sharp cry of dismay as Aizen fired a blast of kido that toppled him and sent him tumbling towards the floor. Strong arms caught him mid-fall, and he found himself resting, bridal style in Renji's muscular arms.

"Nice catch, Renji!" called Ichigo's voice, earning the youth a smoky glare from the noble.

"Who invited him?" Byakuya mused.

Renji glared at the three men who had annoyed him.

"Get that trash outta here!" he ordered a group of security guards who had rushed into the room.

Byakuya watched, smirking as Aizen and his cohorts were dragged away, then turned to face his rescuer. Renji grinned widely and set him back on his feet, then offered him a hand.

"Come on, kiddo, let's not let them have all of the fun, eh?" Renji said, moving in closer and wrapping his arms around the noble.

He glared at the musicians meaningfully and they started to play a lovely, traditional ballroom dance song. Renji frowned and cleared his throat and the music went silent, then a sweeter love song began to play.

"May I have this dance, Taichou?" he asked, stepping back and bowing.

"May I ask you a question?"

Renji blinked.

"Sure, what?"

"How did you know it was me?"

Renji chuckled as they started to move together.

"Well," the redhead answered, "You were really pretty obvious."

"Was I?" Byakuya asked, blushing, "I didn't mean to be."

"That's okay," said Renji, "It works out all right, because...I'm not all that bright. You kinda have to hit me over the head with it, before I get it."

His face moved closer, and Renji's wonderful, masculine scent fell over his senses.

"But I get it now."

His fingers found the noble's mask and started to strip it away. Byakuya took hold of his hand, stopping him.

"Wait," he objected, "It isn't midnight. I have to wear it until midnight."

"O-kay," said Renji, tolerantly, "But, um...do we have to stay here? Or can we go somewhere else and finish this dance?"

"You want to dance somewhere else?" Byakuya asked, meeting Renji's red-brown eyes questioningly, "Where?"

Byakuya caught his breath in surprise as Renji swept him off his feet and flash stepped out onto the balcony. He leapt down off the balcony and continued in flash steps, his long red hair bending in the breeze. Byakuya reached up to remove his hair tie, but had his hand quickly caught in a stronger one. Renji looked at him out of the corner of an eye.

"Sorry, can't remove it until midnight."

He slid to a stop at the top of a cliff that peeked out of a patchwork of puffy clouds, where a waterfall rained down from a dizzying height into a riled ocean. The moon blazed blindingly overhead, giving Renji's wolfish eyes a dangerous, feral look. He set Byakuya on his feet and looked down into his curious, gray eyes.

"Now, you said that you have to wear your mask until midnight," the redhead said, running his fingers down a slender wing, "But...what about these?"

Byakuya shrugged the wings off of his shoulders.

"Ah," said Renji, smiling, "And this?"

His fingers touched a long, white glove.

Byakuya hesitated, then felt his heart skip sharply as Renji slid one glove, then the other off of him.

"You've lost your halo," Renji commented.

"I think that vermin, Aizen Sousuke, absconded with it," Byakuya said, frowning.

"Can I abscond with this?" Renji asked in a softer, more seductive tone, slipping the heavier satin robe off his shoulders.

"And these..." he said, removing one ribboned sandal, then the other.

"This...?" he said, lifting the white tunic over his head and baring him except for the mask.

He stood, gazing at the masked noble's naked body reflecting the bright moonlight.

"There's my angel," Renji said appreciatively.

Byakuya blushed.

"Abarai, aren't you going to undress too?" he asked.

Renji's smile widened.

"In a bit," he answered, moving closer, "First, I want to dance with you."

Music floated in then, as if it had risen off the surface of the ocean they overlooked...not dark or traditional, but light and beautiful...a moving love song he was sure that he had heard on one of his forays into the living world. Renji bowed and reached out, taking his hand and pulling him in, wrapping an arm around his waist as they turned, then releasing him and stepping back. Byakuya turned into his arms, then spun out again, only to be captured and held close, turned and dipped, then offered a sweet meeting of lips. Renji pulled him in for a longer, deeper kiss, then spun him away and sent them circling and swaying over the edge of the cliff and onto a bank of thick, white clouds.

"Abarai?" Byakuya whispered, feeling a jolt of uncertainty as he started to sink.

"Oh," Renji said, grinning, "I thought angels belonged in the clouds. You must have been misbehaving."

His eyes narrowed.

"Maybe you enjoyed being nearly molested by that devil, Aizen? Are you sure you didn't give him that halo?" he suggested, "That could weigh down a soul, ne?".

"Of course not," the noble said primly, "but you've deprived me of my wings."

Renji moved closer and breathed in his ear teasingly.

"But you're a shinigami. You can walk on air..."

And all at once, Byakuya couldn't hide the warm smile that burst onto his lips like the morning sunrise.

"But this isn't real. I could really fall. I could be killed," he said, closing his eyes and clinging more tightly to the redhead as they continued to move around the bright, wispy sky.

Renji laughed heartily.

"Kind of the opposite of humans, who fear falling when they're awake, ne?"

Byakuya bit his lip and his smile faded.

"Renji?" he queried softly, "Why can't you see me like this when we're awake?"

Renji made a sound halfway between a giggle and a soft growl.

"Because you won't take off your clothes in front of me when we're awake," he laughed, sending the noble into another spin.

"Actually, I did...sort of," the noble corrected him.

"Ah, but stealth stripping doesn't count."

Byakuya turned back into the redhead's arms and waited until they turned again to misplace his foot slightly. Renji's foot caught on his and the two tumbled down onto the soft cloud. 

"Oof!" gasped the redhead, "But 'stealth tripping' is a punishable offense!"

"Did I trip you," the noble asked, giving him a look of innocence and making his halo reappear over his head, "Forgive my clumsiness."

Renji batted the halo away, pinned the noble beneath him and glared down at him.

"Hmmm, how to punish you..."

The redhead froze as Byakuya's hand cupped his face and the noble's eyes grew sad.

"Oh..." said Renji, "That's not fair, you know. I hate it when you're sad."

"You do?" asked Byakuya, "I wondered if you even noticed."

"But what's to be sad about?" Renji asked, giving him a nibbling kiss, "We have light, music, clouds...each other? What more do you want?"

"I want it to be real. I want to wake up and have you be there, beside me, Renji."

The redhead met his eyes meaningfully.

"Well, I'll have to see what I can do about that..."

"Renji?" Byakuya said uncertainly.

He gasped and cried out in surprise and fear as Renji shifted suddenly, tore off his mask, and shoved him off the cloud.

"Renji!" he cried.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya came awake suddenly, sitting up and sucking in a breath, ready to scream. Warm arms took hold of him and Renji's scent broke through, telling him that he was no longer dreaming.

"R-renji?" he said in a shaky voice.

"It's okay," Renji said quietly, "It was just a dream. You're fine now."

He knew he should pull away from the redhead and say something about not needing to be coddled, but instead, he let his head rest against Renji's shoulder for a moment and closed his eyes. Renji sat very still, not saying anything as the noble's breathing slowed and he recovered his senses. Finally, he made himself pull away and leaned back against his pillows.

"My apologies," he said contritely, "I didn't mean to inconvenience you."

"It's fine," Renji assured him, "I just...was a little freaked out when you screamed my name like that. I...thought...I thought maybe...I don't know, that maybe Aizen came back and was threatening you or something."

"He did...he was...in my dream," Byakuya stammered.

He took a steadying breath.

"But you were there. You protected me."

Renji smiled.

"That's my job," he said, standing and starting for the door.

"Where are you going?" Byakuya asked, wishing he could ask the redhead to stay for the night.

"I thought you might like a cup of tea, to settle your nerves so you can sleep," Renji answered.

"Yes," Byakuya said softly, his eyes sad as he fell back into their established association, but still reeling with how much he wanted there to be more.

He sank into the pillows, fighting back tears as he remembered how sweet it was to be held close in Renji's strong arms, how good he smelled and how the redhead's voice was like a cat purring in his ear.

"I love you," he whispered, just to hear the words.

He wasn't sure why they made his heart ache, or why he felt tears in his eyes when he said it. He drifted off to sleep, still hurting beautifully inside and wishing that he could feel Renji's kiss while he was still awake.

Renji entered the room a few minutes later, bearing the tea tray. He noticed that Byakuya had drifted off and set the tray down. Then, he moved closer, frowning as he noticed where a tear had run down the noble's otherwise relaxed face. He leaned forward and brushed it away.

"I'm getting worried about you," he whispered, "You seem depressed since Aizen pulled all of that crap and took off. Just...don't worry. I'm here. I know you won't admit that you ever feel like you need me, but everyone needs somebody...even really strong people like you. I know I wasn't there for you when Gin tried to kill Rukia and you took the hit. A fukutaichou should be there for his taichou at times like that, and I wasn't. But there won't be any more moments like that. If anything ever threatens you, I will be there. I swear it."

Renji sat, frozen for a moment, then leaned forward and arranged the blanket more comfortably. He looked down at the pale hand that peeked out from under the edge, and on impulse, captured it in his. He brushed his lips very lightly against the graceful fingertips, then set Byakuya's hand on the blanket and quickly left the room.

Behind him, Byakuya brought the hand to his heart, and fell asleep again with a smile on his face.


	5. Love's Machinations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya does something sneaky to tease Renji...

_I cannot believe that I am stooping to such a thing as this, thought Byakuya, making his reiatsu burn softly until his face and throat flushed and his eyes took on a feverish look, If he discovers what I am doing, there will be no living it down. I think I will have to leave the Seireitei in shame..._

He burrowed down into his blankets and pretended to sleep.

_Any minute now..._

A soft tap sounded on the door, and the noble loosed a discontented groan. The door to his room opened and Renji stepped inside.

_To think that the leader of the greatest of the noble clans would resort to something so..._

"Taichou?" Renji said questioningly, pausing in the doorway.

"Mmmmngh," groaned Byakuya, sitting up slowly and rubbing his hands over his flushed face, "Wh-what time is it?"

"It's past nine," said the redhead, worry passing over his features, "Hey, you don't look so good. I, uh, I think I should get you some tea...and a healer."

_Oh no..._

"N-no, Renji," he said quickly, "Just the tea will be...Renji?"

He started to climb out of bed to stop the redhead, but misjudged the edge in his haste and tumbled gracelessly onto the floor. The loud crash made Renji turn and look back. The redhead's eyes widened and he flash stepped to his fallen taichou.

"Taichou!" he shouted, dropping to his knees next to the noble as Byakuya hastily righted himself. He noticed that Renji was blushing rather furiously and looked down to find that his yukata had come undone and fallen open. He swiftly covered himself, blushing deeply as a cluster of pretty black strands of his hair tumbled down onto his face and Renji's eyes widened sweetly.

"I..." Byakuya said, searching for something that would sound acceptable under the circumstances, "I am fine."

He stiffened, trying to ignore the instant reaction he felt in his loins, seeing that he had flustered the handsome redhead. Gathering what pride he had left, he came to his feet and climbed back into bed. He cleared his throat and met Renji's riled, red-brown eyes.

"I will not require a healer," he said firmly, "but the tea will be fine, Abarai."

"T-tea," Renji said, looking as though he was trying to make sense of the word, "Tea, right Taichou. I'll just...get that for you. But are you sure you don't need a healer? You don't look so well."

"I am under the weather, I admit," the noble said, snuggling back down under the covers, "but I am sure it is minor...and nothing that we cannot manage without a healer. I will require the files from my desk, however."

Renji seemed to recover himself slightly, and smiled and shook his head.

"No way," he said sternly, "I can manage what's in the office. I'll bring in anything that requires a signature or approval from you."

Byakuya bit his lips to keep from smiling.

"Very well," he answered, closing his eyes, "Just leave the door open."

"Okay, Taichou," Renji answered, turning and flash stepping away.

Byakuya reached over and picked up a book from the nightstand, and as he did, he brushed his hand against the small radio beside his bed. Music sounded, startling him slightly, but he noticed that it made Renji look up, then smile in his direction, so he left it on. He pretended to read, while watching the redhead out of the corner of an eye. Renji frowned cutely down at the page he was reading and scratched the back of his neck absently. He wrote a few notes onto the page and signed it, then placed it in his outbox and went on to the next report. The things he did, Byakuya thought, were all very routine and ordinary, but by virtue of the fact that it was Renji doing them, he could never grow bored observing.

_But observing isn't going to make him fall in love with me. And I do not know what will. So, what am I doing, feigning illness just to sit and watch him for hours on end? It is all useless if I don't get up the nerve to approach him..._

He sank into the tune that was playing on the radio next to him, and tried to imagine what it would be like to be able to do something...to say something to make the redhead aware of how he felt...

XXXXXXXXXX

_He waited until the redhead was deeply engrossed in his work, then slipped out of bed, quietly masking his reiatsu to cover his approach. Renji continued to read the report in front of him, missing entirely, the pale specter that approached on silent, bare feet. He reached Renji's desk and paused, waiting until he set the finished report in the inbox and reached for another. He caught the redhead's rough hand as it moved, and brought it to his coyly smiling lips, enjoying thoroughly, the moment of realization as Renji looked up at him, and the handsome red-brown eyes went wide._

_"T-taichou?"_

_Byakuya's eyes blinked slowly and his other hand slid down his yukata and took hold of the tie at his waist._

_"I was wondering something," he said, holding Renji's eyes captive._

_"Y-you...?"_

_"Did you like what you saw before?" he asked, pulling provocatively on the tie and releasing it._

_The redhead swallowed hard and stared wordlessly as Byakuya's yukata opened just enough to hint at what was beneath it._

_"Gomen nasai," Byakuya went on, "but the look on your face was so enchanting when you looked at me before. I couldn't help but want to see that expression again."_

_He gazed at the redhead questioningly as Renji tried to untie his hopelessly spellbound tongue._

_"Oh," the noble sighed, coloring, "My apologies. I thought that..."_

_He turned and started to walk away, but was stopped by a warm, rough hand that wrapped firmly around his slender wrist. He turned back as Renji came to his feet, and the front of his yukata fell open, revealing his naked body. Renji's eyes glared hungrily into his, and Byakuya took an involuntary step backward, making Renji's hand tighten around his wrist_.

_"Where do you think you're going?" Renji growled softly, moving closer._

_Byakuya's eyes widened, and his breath caught at the beautiful way the redhead moved...slow and poised, like a tiger stalking prey._

_"You think you can just show me something like that, then walk away?" he went on, "You have no idea what you just got yourself into, do you?"_

_He loved the way the redhead's aggressive words made his heart pound at the uncertainty of his situation._

_"You want to go unleashing something like that on a guy, you'd better be ready for what happens because of it."_

_Renji paused in front of him, his rough hand still holding Byakuya's wrist and his lips close to the noble's._

_"You really want to go there, Taichou?" Renji purred, his hot breath teasing Byakuya's pale ear and sending lively jolts through him, "I thought you had a fever and weren't well. I might make you faint..."_

_Byakuya gave him a dismissive look._

_"Do I look weak to you?" he asked._

_He barely had time to inhale in surprise as the redhead forced him back against the wall. Byakuya's yukata opened wide and Renji's body pressed forward, his shihakushou rubbing against the noble's tender flesh as his mouth claimed Byakuya's forcefully. There was something exhilaratingly erotic about having his bare flesh caressed by the rough material as Renji held him tightly against the wall and forced his tongue into the noble's mouth. As the other man's deliciously masculine scent, and wild, burning flavor fell over his senses...as that sweetly aggressive mouth plundered his, making him clench the redhead's shoulders and dig his fingernails in, Byakuya felt his knees inexplicably weaken and tremble. Renji tore his mouth away, and if not for being held in those strong hands, Byakuya would have slid ingloriously down the wall._

_"Do you feel weak now?" growled the redhead, "If not, I can try again."_

_"I think my fever has returned," the noble panted, loosing one hand to touch it to his chest, over his pounding heart, "I should go back to bed."_

_His breath caught as he was lifted off his feet and carried in a flash step, back into his room, and the door closed behind them. He watched with widened eyes as Renji laid him down on the bed, glaring at him._

_"You know, you shouldn't tease a guy like that. He's liable to lose it and just take you by force."_

_"As though he could," Byakuya said, narrowing his eyes, "But I have riled you. It would not be right to leave you in such a state."_

_"I'm fine," Renji assured him with a chuckle, "Don't worry about it."_

_He started to turn, but stopped and turned back as Byakuya's graceful hand wrapped around his wrist. Renji looked back at him through feral, narrowed eyes._

_"What are you doing?" he asked softly._

_"It would be a stain upon my honor to fluster you and leave you that way." ___

_He climbed onto his knees and moved to the edge of the bed, then slowly undid Renji's clothes and bared his large, flushed arousal. The heady, masculine scent of him set Byakuya's heart beating dizzyingly fast, and made his mouth go dry. Renji gazed down at him for a moment, then accepted his hand and climbed onto the bed. He knelt in front of the spellbound, staring noble, one rough hand capturing his leaking member and caressing it provocatively._

_"So...what are you going to do...to not be dishonored?" Renji asked, stroking himself._

_Byakuya leaned forward, lowering himself between the redhead's parted thighs and placing his hands along the softer, inner flesh. Renji leaned back, watching him closely with those hungry, aggressive eyes as Byakuya closed in on his erect privates._

_Renji made a sound of pleasure as Byakuya's soft cheek rubbed against his arousal. The noble moved closer, breathing in Renji's wonderful scent, then moved closer to his wanting nether region. And where the rest of Renji's skin was rougher, the skin of this part of of him was silkenly soft...fragrant...vulnerable. For him to expose and offer this part of himself was a beautiful and rare gift. Byakuya embraced that gift with all of his heart._

_The noble pleasured the area, treasuring the soft flesh with warm lips and tongue, and listening to the beautiful sounds Renji made as he was sweetly teased. The redhead fell back, gasping and panting as Byakuya moved forward, exploring him relentlessly, then moving lower and slowly investigating his entrance. He teased the redhead nearly into fits, then lifted himself slightly, beginning a slow invasion and making Renji groan, and his strong hands clench the bedding._

_He gently tormented the redhead, closing his eyes and sucking possessively, as Renji moved restlessly and growled as though ready to attack. When he moved, he moved so quickly and with such grace, that even if Byakuya hadn't been taken by surprise, the thrill of being upended and thrown down by such a handsome creature, was more than worth the price he might pay for his recklessness. He yielded easily to the hands that gripped his thighs and pushed them apart, to the mouth that assaulted his and the hands that touched and stroked him everywhere as Renji rubbed his aroused member against the noble's._

_He realized suddenly that he was making sounds, too...gasping and panting, moaning and hissing as Renji explored and caressed and thrust hungrily against him._

_Renji's fingers touched his lips, and he sucked them into his mouth, nipping and sucking them, then bathing them in warm saliva. They left his mouth, and Renji's mouth returned, capturing his and distracting him with a storm of penetrating kisses as those wetted fingers slid down his body and sought his virgin entrance. He moaned and stiffened at being touched there, feeling a sudden rush of uncertainty._

_"Don't worry," the redhead said softly in his blushing ear, "It won't hurt too much."_

_It was an odd sensation, being prepared for their first intercourse, but the sensation wasn't uncomfortable, and it felt strangely erotic being caressed and touched on the inside, while being pleasured on the surface. He was so involved in Renji's rough, biting kisses that he barely felt the next invasion, and in fact, only really registered it when Renji found the bundle of sensitive nerves within him. He made a sound of surprise as Renji's fingers set off a reaction in his body that made him cry out loudly and cling harder to the redhead. He groaned as the redhead pushed his legs open wider and settled between them._

_He knew that, as big as Renji was, it should have hurt some when he entered, but all Byakuya could feel was the heat of those blazing, red-brown eyes as they burned down into his, the seething touches and the hard, beautiful thrusts of Renji's powerful hips. He didn't care anymore about making a spectacle of himself, moaning, sweating and shaking all over. All that mattered was the explosion of pleasure all through him, and the peace of being one with that other wilder soul. He gripped Renji's shoulders tightly, hanging on for dear life as they crested a beautiful wave of intense pleasure that made them both gasp and writhe, while Renji's incredible heat filled him inside, and his own release spilled out onto their bared skin._

_He was enchanted all over again as Renji let go of him and leaned over his plundered body, devouring Byakuya's pearly release as the noble watched through sweetly hazed eyes._

"So this is what it is to be loved by you," he whispered dizzily.

He was shocked out of his reverie as he realized that Renji was standing beside his bed, bending to set a fresh cup of tea beside him. His top opened slightly as he bent, giving Byakuya a lovely view of the redhead's tattooed chest and releasing a puff of that wonderful scent that had haunted the noble's daydream.

"What was that, Taichou?" the redhead said, blinking adorably, "D-did you...?"

"Oh..." the noble said, sitting up and taking the tea in his shaking hand, "I must have drifted off."

"That's okay," Renji said, good naturedly, "You look so flushed and I felt your face and it was feverish. I think you could use the rest."

"I will be fine," said the noble, "but I would like something cooler. Something with ice. I feel awfully warm."

He watched as Renji left, then exited his bed and flash stepped to the closet to get a fresh yukata. He fled to the bathroom and shed his clothing, entering the shower and standing under a spray of cool water to clean away the wet mess his fantasy had caused. He dressed and returned to his bed to find that Renji had left a tray bearing his lunch and a tall glass of ice water. He drank it too quickly, making his head ache, then climbed back into bed and tried again to read. He turned the radio off this time, to fend off any more daydreams.

_I would prefer not to have Renji thinking I've lost my mind..._

Renji left for a time to conduct their squad's training exercise, leaving Byakuya to stare out the bedroom door at his empty chair and imagine seeing him there, but returned some time later and made Byakuya smile at the way he dropped into his seat, humming to himself contentedly as he worked.

_Gods, I have to do something about this. I cannot go on this way._

_If I lose my focus like this on the battlefield, someone could get killed._

_I can master this. It is just mind over matter, ne? I have looked death in the face before. Looking into the face of love can't be more terrifying than that._

_Can it?_


	6. Fireflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya tricks Renji into giving him a dance lesson.

Byakuya took a nervous breath and tried to compose himself as he prepared to cross yet another line that he had never thought he would. But for over a week since his feigned illness, he hadn't been able to get Abarai Renji out of his head.

It didn't seem to matter where he went or what he did, his mind found ways to torment him with thoughts of Renji being there...being there, looking for him, desiring him...abandoning all restraint and pursuing him. Every lovely red flower reminded him of Renji, and every love song...and sad song, every book he tried to distract himself with. He thought of Renji the moment he woke from dreaming about the redhead. He stole glances at work, and gazed at his desk when he left to conduct training (He didn't attempt to follow the redhead anymore, reminding himself of how the last time he had nearly been caught.). He couldn't eat, and when he did, he ate sweets...which didn't taste any better than they ever had, but they reminded him of Renji, so he couldn't help himself. And when they trained, Renji caught him off guard so often that he began to feel like he was always just a bit off balance.

Finally, Senbonzakura had decided that he couldn't stand nearly losing battles to a monkey zanpakutou, just because his taichou level master was smitten with Zabimaru's master.

 _This is disgraceful_ , Sen chided him, _In prior times, you would have scoffed at the thought of yourself being reduced to mooning after someone in that way! And if I ever let my guard down during training, you would have been furious. So, it seems I have no choice. I refuse to take part in battles in which you are not committed to fighting to the best of your ability. You won't die, but perhaps you will understand what an insult this is to me!_

"Enough of your fluttering," Byakuya said in an annoyed tone, "I have not yet lost a fight, due to inattention..."

 _But you will_ , argued the zanpakutou spirit, _And if it happens in a battle, you could get us both killed!_

"Very well," Byakuya said, more to banish the spirit than to improve things, "I have heard enough. I take your meaning. Now, go."

Senbonzakura shook his head, and Byakuya could sense the scowl beneath the mask.

_Disgraceful! he complained as he faded, leaving Byakuya frowning at the place he had been._

Byakuya sensed Renji's arrival at the manor gates and felt an edge of panic touch him. But he forced it down and scanned the room he was in, noting the necessary open space and hardwood floor, perfect for dancing.

_I feel so dishonest, doing this under false pretenses, but after seeing him dance with Momo, and then dreaming about it so many times, I have to!_

He turned on a contemporary music station that was playing a mid-tempo song and frowned at a video of a couple dancing, more in the club style that Renji favored. He heard Renji's step behind him and turned, moving hastily to cover the video that was playing. He switched it off and turned back to face Renji. The redhead gave him a curious look and studied the living world clothes he wore.

"Thank you for bringing those reports over for me to sign," the noble said brusquely, moving to take the papers from Renji's hand, "Soutaichou is anxious to receive them."

A sly smile crept onto his face as Renji took advantage of his signing the papers to slip over to the television and turn the DVD back on.

"What's this, Taichou?"

"Hmmm?" Byakuya said absently, not looking up from the papers right away, but giving Renji a chance to watch the dancing in the video.

"You taking club dancing lessons or something?" the redhead went on, "I thought that you were more the ballroom dancing type."

"Actually, that would be correct," Byakuya affirmed, "However, I am having dinner with the leader of another clan who has been at odds with ours. I wish to foster better relations between our clans, and I know that the clan leader frequents a certain club in the living world...The Black Rose. They do not exactly engage in traditional ballroom dance at that club."

"Ah...no," Renji said, his eyes widening at the mention of the club's name, "It's a very exclusive club...up on the good side of Karakura Town. I've never been there, but I've heard about it."

"Mmmm," said the noble, dismissing him for a moment as he finished looking over and signing the papers.

"So, where's your dance instructor?" the redhead asked.

Byakuya summoned a courier and handed him the signed reports.

"He was supposed to be here some time ago. It will leave me in an awkward situation if he does not arrive soon."

"Well, I know some easy moves I could show you," Renji offered, "I mean, it requires some closer contact than you use in ballroom dancing, but, hey, we're both adults, here, ne?"

"We are," agreed the noble, "And as I do not prefer to arrive for my date unprepared..."

"A date, Taichou?" the redhead said, looking surprised, "I uh, didn't know you...dated guys."

"I don't...I didn't, but we are endeavoring to build a peaceful connection with his clan, and he has indicated an interest in me. So, while I do not know how I feel about a serious relationship, it will not hurt anyone, and may help relations between our clans if we...connect on a personal level."

His heart jumped at the momentary look of wistfulness that touched Renji's eyes.

"Okay," Renji said, extending a hand, "Let's get started."

Byakuya stepped forward and accepted Renji's offered hand. The redhead looked at him for a moment and smiled in approval.

"You have the look down perfect, Taichou, but...are you sure you want to wear your kenseiken?"

Byakuya blinked in surprise.

"I don't know," he said, frowning and touching it with his fingertips, then slowly removing it, "Do you think I look better without it?"

"Well," said Renji, "With a night at The Black Rose, it isn't so much about looking better, it's about looking the part. You are dressed to kill, but you need to let your hair down so that it can move a bit while you dance. See now, that looks much more relaxed and fun. You look great."

"Arigato. But looking great is only the beginning," said the noble, "I still need to be able to do the kind of dancing appropriate to the club."

"Right," agreed the redhead, "So, don't kill me here. We need to stand much closer, and don't freak out when our bodies touch when we dance, okay, Taichou? That's just the way it's done."

"T-touch?" Byakuya repeated, "Oh, I don't know if I..."

He froze as Renji moved in close, so that the redhead's wonderful, masculine scent invaded his senses intoxicatingly. He managed not to sigh aloud, but had to swallow hard to remain silent. He tensed involuntarily as Renji's arms folded around him and brought them up against each other.

"Just follow now."

Byakuya forced his body to relax.

"Now, look into your partner's eyes," Renji instructed him.

"Why?" asked the noble.

"It helps you keep your balance," laughed the redhead.

_I think it makes me feel giddy..._

"Now, just follow...go right along with me."

He could have taken every step perfectly, but even if he hadn't purposely taken several missteps so as to appear to need the practice, Renji's body rubbed up against his and shattered his concentration. He felt a deep flush on his skin as the redhead's hands slid down and set themselves on his hips.

"Relax more," Renji said, looking into his eyes and continuing to move him around the small dance floor, "Don't move so far away. Instead, let my body touch yours and move you. We should stay close together and keep focused on each other's eyes."

Byakuya locked his eyes on Renji's and relaxed as Renji's body moved forward and swept his up, carrying him backwards, making him feel as though his feet had left the ground and they were dancing on a cloud, as it had been in his dream some weeks before. The two continued their smooth motion around the room, their eyes locked and forgetting all else. The music was light and the song dreamy. It was easy to let go and imagine that they were in love, that they had left the world behind and only had eyes for each other.

He realized suddenly, that Renji was looking at him strangely.

"You sure pick up on things quickly," the redhead said, "but I'll bet it's because you're already good at ballroom dancing, ne?"

"Perhaps," said the noble, turning, then letting Renji's body move in close again.

Renji released him into a turn, then captured him and lowered him into a dip as the song they were dancing to came to an end. Byakuya gazed up into Renji's eyes, his own softening...his hands holding on to the redhead and their faces unbearably close. But just as his eyes closed and he moved to bring their lips together, the music changed to another mid-tempo song with a more sultry, suggestive tempo. And as they continued to dance, Byakuya's mind latched on to the theme...something about the lure of rivalry in love...stealing one's affection away from someone else.

_Stealing someone else's sugar is sweeter..._

_Hmmm..._

The music came to a close and they slowed and came to a stop. And the feeling was so wonderful, the flutter and throb of his heart, being close to Renji and touching each other that way. Even though it had been instructive rather than romantic (for at least one of them), it had also been exhilarating. He realized quite suddenly that something about him seemed to have caught Renji's attention, then he realized that he was smiling, and it looked to have surprised the redhead.

"Is something wrong?" he asked quietly.

"No," Renji laughed, "It's just, I didn't think I'd ever see you do this kind of dancing...or that you would do this kind of dancing so well."

Byakuya met his eyes more solemnly.

"Sometimes people can surprise you."

"Yeah, I guess," Renji agreed.

"Well," said the noble, "It is time for me to leave for the club. But, you have my gratitude for making sure that I did not embarrass myself."

"Not that you would have, Taichou. You're a great dancer."

"Thank you, Renji."

He walked to the television and turned it off, then picked up four passes to The Black Rose. He handed two to Renji.

"What's this?" Renji asked, looking at the passes.

"They were for the friend who was going to instruct me, so that he could go along as sort of a...backup method of security. I do not often go on dates alone. I usually have someone in the background, just to make certain there is no trouble. But as my friend did not arrive as planned, perhaps you and a friend of yours can make use of those. Use them whenever you like, and if you want to order dinner, just have it charged to the clan."

Renji started to reply, but an attendant appeared in the doorway.

"Kuchiki-sama, your escort is here."

"Arigato."

He turned back to Renji, who still stood, open mouthed and staring at the club passes, his expression betraying a flutter of anxiety.

"Ah," he said, letting his smile fade slightly, "I shall see you later, Abarai."

"Y-yeah, thanks, Taichou."

"Thank you, Renji."

He left with his escort, mentally crossing his fingers that Renji would take the bait and follow.

_Because if he doesn't, I really do have to spend the evening with that lecherous boor from the Yamashita clan. It will be good for clan relations, but it will take days to get him to stop leering at me and asking for more private 'time together.' Really, I hope this works..._

He passed through the precipice world and arrived at The Black Rose, where the rival clan leader was already waiting for him. Even the man's charming smile made Byakuya want to level him with a quick kido blast.

"Byakuya, you look lovely," the tall, black-haired, black-eyed man.

Byakuya had to admit that he was a handsome man. But in his case, looks were definitely not everything.

_The man lies down with anyone and everyone he can coax into his bed. And despite his ridiculous behavior and obvious lines, a shocking number of males and females fall victim. If Renji doesn't arrive to protect my honor, I just may have to kill the man to keep him from mauling me._

_The things I subject myself to..._

_If Renji ever learns of how I lowered myself, just to get his attention. I wonder if it is too late to just tell him..._

"Hisoka," he said quietly, cringing as the man wrapped an arm around him and turned them towards a table.

Byakuya watched the entrance carefully for Renji's arrival as they ordered drinks and appetizers, then their meal. The meal was just being set on the table, and Hisoka was complementing him in some mildly suggestive manner, when the club doors opened and Renji walked in.

_He's with...Hisagi Shuuhei?_

The two stood close together, to hear each other over the noise and music around them. They were seated a short distance away, giving the noble a front row seat to just what he had done.

_They do make a handsome young couple. And they've long been friends. Of course Renji would bring someone that he really cared about...someone he might be wanting to court. That is who one would bring to a place like this._

_I was incredibly stupid not to think of that..._

"Byakuya, dear, you haven't even tried the wine. It's a personal favorite of mine. Give it a try."

He sipped at the drink absently, watching out of the corner of an eye as Renji and Shuuhei ordered their dinner and ate.

"You aren't eating much," commented Hisoka, "But that's probably why you have such a pleasing figure."

_Yes, they look pretty much perfect together. Renji is young and very lively. It is understandable that he would choose someone like that._

He felt an uncomfortable dizziness springing up inside his head, although he had been careful not to drink very much of the wine.

_The only thing that would make this evening worse would be ending up in Yamashita Hisoka's bed at the end of the night._

He heard the other clan leader say something and he was brought to his feet and led to the dance floor. The mixture of wine and depression left him listless as he considered what he might do, now that he had the honor of being the one to get Renji together with Shuuhei.

_I couldn't have done a better job of it if I planned it, he thought, as Hisoka's palm touched his face and brought his head to the other man's shoulder._

"Are you all right, Bya, dear? You look a little flushed. Too much wine? You are a risk taker, now, aren't you?"

_But I hardly drank a thing._

_And yet, I feel so dizzy._

Renji stood and led Shuuhei to the dance floor. And as Hisoka led and Byakuya just rested against him and went along with him, Renji and Shuuhei only grew to be more beautiful and perfect together. He only waited now for the crushing blow of seeing the two kiss.

_Perhaps I'll lose consciousness, and I won't have to see..._

Weariness stole over him, an odd lassitude that made his legs feel weak and his head spin harder. He thought to end the evening right then, but came to the sudden awareness of the expression on Hisoka's face. He had lost the surface charm and was now observing Byakuya with a hungry gaze.

_He is waiting for something..._

And then, he realized.

_I wasn't paying any mind at all to what he was doing. I should have known when he urged me to drink that he was up to something. This is beyond stupid._

He tried to pull away from the other man, but was captured and brought in for a rough, penetrating kiss.

_If not for what he put in my drink, this man would already be on the floor, perhaps dead. But...he knew just what it would take to make me defenseless. Gods, I can't make myself move!_

Hisoka held him on his feet and turned to a club staff member.

"We'll need a room," he said, looking down at his nearly senseless companion, "It looks like my lovely date had a little too much to drink."

_I will absolutely kill you, Hisoka._

_Except that, by morning, I won't remember._

"Come now, Byakuya," the man said, leading him up a winding flight of stairs to a row of private rooms, "We'll cool off a bit and lie down. You'll sober up soon enough."

_And he is making sure that everyone sees that I'm on my feet...barely, but on my feet. I knew this man was a cad, but I didn't know he was this dastardly._

He had lost track of Renji and Shuuhei, and no longer cared.

_I don't want to watch that anyway._

Something inside him made panic steal over him as the door to the room opened and Hisoka started to lead him inside. He pulled away and staggered back.

"L-let go of...of me, you bastard!" he managed, his legs threatening to collapse underneath him.

"Oh," said Hisoka, a more feral look in his eyes, "Now you want to play hard to get. Is that it?"

He grabbed at the noble's wrist, but Byakuya pulled away and stepped back, losing his balance and falling hard into the railing. He heard a loud crack as the railing gave way and he started to fall. For some reason, he thought he heard Renji's voice.

_I really hope I don't feel it when I land..._

His fading mind registered the hiss of a flash step and warm arms catching him and pulling him close.

"Renji?" he mumbled dazedly.

"Hold on to Shuuhei for a sec," the redhead said, turning back as Hisoka ran down the stairs.

"Here, let me take him," the rival clan leader said, "We were going to our room anyw..."

He broke off as Renji's fist connected with his jaw.

"Do we all look stupid to you?" Renji snarled furiously, "You think we're gonna all just stand by and watch you drug him and carry him off like that!"

He grabbed Hisoka by the front of the shirt, blocking the other man's hands, then the attempt at a kido blast that followed.

"You!" Renji yelled at a stunned waiter, "Grab his wine glass and hold onto it. I want evidence of what this creep tried to do!"

The redhead doubled over as Hisoka struck him hard in the stomach. He staggered back, but blocked the next strike, then turned the other man's inertia against him and threw him into a table, which broke apart and crashed to the ground with Hisoka. Renji turned back to a silent and dazed Byakuya, and a sympathetic looking Shuuhei.

"Shuu," said Renji, watching Hisoka out of the corner of an eye as he struggled to rise, then collapsed onto the floor, "Take that glass to Urahara-san and have him check it, okay? I'm going to get Taichou somewhere where he can rest."

"Sure thing, Renji," Shuuhei said, taking the glass from the waiter and flash stepping away.

Byakuya felt Renji come close again, then felt himself lifted, and rested his head on the redhead's shoulder.

"You probably don't want to go home or to the division looking like this. And I know Urahara-san and Yoruichi-san would have a field day, teasing you about it. So, I think we should just go to my place, okay?"

_Did I hear that right?_

His eyes drooped sleepily and his awareness came and went as Renji carried him through the precipice world and back into the Seireitei. He carried the reeling noble into an apartment building and up a flight of stairs, then into Renji's small apartment.

"It's not much...only has one bed, so we'll have to share. But I don't figure you really give a shit about that right now, ne?"

Byakuya couldn't help but blush furiously as Renji peeled away the tight fitting living world clothes and dressed him in a clean yukata. He collapsed onto the Renji scented bed and sighed contentedly as his head came to rest on a soft pillow.

"Oh..." he groaned, as Renji propped him up on his side.

"Get some rest, Taichou," he said, smiling sleepily at the noble, "And when you wake up in bed with me and don't remember anything, please don't kill me, okay?"

Renji changed out of his clothes, then turned off the light and laid down next to Byakuya. He made a sound of surprise as the senseless noble turned and curled into his arms.

But somehow, he just couldn't make himself pull away.

"Night, Taichou," the redhead chuckled.

_I love you, Renji._

_Why in kami's name can't I just say the words?_


	7. Explanations are Necessary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya wakes to find himself naked and resting in Renji's arms.

Being a creature of habit, even when suffering the aftereffects of being drugged, Byakuya woke in the early morning to find himself barely in his untied yukata and sprawled across Renji's chest. The redhead's wonderful, deeply masculine scent filled his senses, and before he quite knew what he was doing, he burrowed his face into the space between the redhead's throat and shoulder and, with closed eyes, rubbed his lips and cheek about, breathing in Renji's scent and sighing dizzily.

It took him several minutes to catch himself, but then...

_What...happened?_

_The last thing I remember is...is leaving the manor to go to The Black Rose._

_What happened?_

_How did I get here?_

_Did we...have sex?_

At that point, several telling things happened all at once, stunning him into silence. He realized first that Renji's yukata was opened, and that the sleeping redhead's wrists had been kido locked together and tied to the rail at the head of the bed. And when he lifted himself slightly to look more closely, he felt an odd stickiness on his thighs and abdomen. And just as it registered what must have happened, Renji's lovely, red-brown eyes blinked open and sleepily found his.

Byakuya's jaw dropped, and he stared at Renji, at a complete loss for words. Renji gazed up at him with something that looked oddly like sympathy...which, under the circumstances, only made the stunned noble more mortified.

_I...took advantage of him?_

_Why?_

_Why would I do that?_

"R-renji..." he managed.

Then, his voice left him again.

"S-sorry, Taichou," the redhead said, blushing so beautifully, it almost made the noble give in to his desires and kiss the man, "Eh...you were really out of it last night."

Byakuya cleared his throat and sat up, trying his best to put on a calm expression, but a mirror near the bed told him beyond doubt that he was failing miserably.

"You...don't remember a thing, ne?" the redhead said softly. Byakuya shook his head silently, then gasped softly at the instant headache it caused. He covered his face with his hands for a moment and groaned uncomfortably.

"Wh-what happened?" he asked, keeping his eyes closed beneath his hands, "How did I get here...in your bed...like this?"

"It...ah...it wasn't your fault or anything," Renji assured him, "That guy, Hisoka, put something in your drink. We have someone figuring out just what. And I brought you here, because I didn't think you'd want anyone seeing you that way."

"I thank you for your discretion, of course...but...you said 'we?' Who did you mean?"

"Oh," Renji said, smiling at him as Byakuya uncovered his face, "I took Shuuhei to The Black Rose...with the passes that you gave me...you know, for teaching you those dance steps?"

"Ah," said the noble, swallowing hard as the dim memory returned, "Yes...right. I...I didn't know that you were dating Shuuhei."

He glanced down at Renji's exposed body, then at his kido restrained hands. Renji's smile became sweetly sheepish.

"Well, we aren't serious or anything, yet. But he was the first person I thought of when you gave me the passes. I thought it might be a good way to...you know...start moving things forward.

_Oh...and I...I...ruined everything!_

Strangely, he couldn't be altogether unhappy at the thought.

_But..._

"Taichou...would you mind...breaking the kido so I can get up?" the redhead asked, blushing again.

_I had sex with Renji?_

_I...forced him?_

"Taichou?" Renji repeated, snatching him out of his thoughts.

"Oh...yes, of course," he said, struggling to recover himself, "Though it seems you should have been able to free yourself. How many times have I told you...?"

"Okay, yeah," Renji chuckled, good naturedly, sitting up as the noble shattered the kido holding his wrists, "I know I should have been able to break it. Sorry."

"I am the one who should be sorry," Byakuya said, forcing calm into his voice, "I obviously forced myself on you last night. Renji...I am..."

"What?" said the redhead, blinking in surprise, "What are you talking about? We didn't..."

"But..." said the confused noble, "I was on top of you. And there is...is..."

He couldn't force himself to say the word.

"...w-wetness down there."

"Oh," Renji laughed, "Yeah, well, you did kido lock my hands to the headboard. And you kissed me. You're a really good kisser, Taichou. S-sorry, I just...couldn't help noticing. But you passed out before you got too serious. And well, I guess the wetness was just...one of us...or both of us, you know, having a really good dream. But really, nothing happened. Just some kissing...and maybe a little touching, you know."

"Ah..."

The room went silent for a moment as the two men tried to think of something to say. Finally, Renji broke the awkward silence.

"Well, I'm gonna go and take a shower. Or do you want to go first?"

"Hmmm?" Byakuya said, distractedly, "Oh...no, you go ahead."

He watched as the redhead walked into the bathroom and closed the door, then he quickly found the clothes that he had been wearing and put them back on, then fled the apartment, bursting out into the too bright environs and stumbling home. His stomach ached horridly by the time he arrived, and he was forced into a rather undignified display in front of a thankfully oblivious toilet. He sat back against the wall, panting softly and trying to remember something...anything.

All that he could remember from being at The Black Rose was a feeling like he was falling, then being held tightly in Renji's arms. He remembered small flashes of things...kissing Renji and hearing him say something he couldn't understand...then more kissing...and Renji kissing him back.

_"Oh god, I know I shouldn't," Renji's voice sighed in his head, "But fuck, you're such a good kisser! Please don't kill me for this!"_

_So, at least, whatever had happened was consensual._

_But he was tied to the headboard! If it was consensual, then why would I do that?_

He tried to think back and only made his head and stomach ache more furiously. He wanted to shrink into that corner in the bathroom and die of humiliation, but he sensed his attendant outside the bathroom, and his reiatsu was harassed. His angst only increased when Tetsuya's reiatsu registered a moment later and his cousin tapped lightly on the door.

"Byakuya-sama?" he called softly, "Are you all right, Cousin?"

"Fine," the noble managed in a near growl.

He dragged himself to his feet and walked out into the bedroom, ignoring Torio's nervous sputtering and avoiding Tetsuya's curious eyes.

"We were concerned when you didn't return as expected from The Black Rose. We contacted the Yamashita clan and they rather brusquely informed us that you left the club with your fukutaichou."

"Yes," said Byakuya, sliding into his bed and turning away from the two, "Torio, I would like some tea."

"Yes, Kuchiki-sama!" the youth said enthusiastically, setting Byakuya's head throbbing again, "I will make some right away!"

He ran out of the room, leaving Byakuya alone with his cousin. Tetsuya moved forward and adjusted the blankets slightly, then sat down beside the bed.

"I imagine you have questions," Byakuya sighed.

Tetsuya smiled.

"I only need to make certain that my cousin is safe and comfortable, Byakuya-sama. You know that."

"Yes," the noble said, nodding briefly, "And I am both now. You needn't stand guard, Tetsuya."

"Do I need to seek out Yamashita Hisoka and have a few words with him?" his cousin asked pointedly, "because it doesn't sound like he played the part of a gentleman last night."

Suddenly, a memory fired itself across Byakuya's mind.

_"Renji?" he mumbled dazedly._

_"Hold on to Shuuhei for a sec," the redhead said, turning back as Hisoka ran down the stairs._

_"Here, let me take him," the rival clan leader said, "We were going to our room anyw..."_

_He broke off as Renji's fist connected with his jaw._

_"Do we all look stupid to you?" Renji snarled furiously, "You think we're gonna all just stand by and watch you drug him and carry him off like that!"_

_He grabbed Hisoka by the front of the shirt, blocking the other man's hands, then the attempt at a kido blast that followed._

_"You!" Renji yelled at a stunned waiter, "Grab his wine glass and hold onto it. I want evidence of what this creep tried to do!"_

_The redhead doubled over as Hisoka struck him hard in the stomach. He staggered back, but blocked the next strike, then turned the other man's inertia against him and threw him into a table, which broke apart and crashed to the ground with Hisoka. Renji turned back to a silent and dazed Byakuya, and a sympathetic looking Shuuhei._

"What are you smiling at?" Tetsuya asked, frowning and tilting his head slightly.

"You needn't worry about Yamashita Hisoka," Byakuya said, yawning, "Renji was kind enough to express our displeasure to him."

"Ah, and then, he took care of you personally," concluded Tetsuya, "Your fukutaichou, unlike Hisoka, is a man of good character...honorable."

"Yes," agreed the clan leader, "Now, Cousin, if you do not mind, I am going to rest a bit."

"Of course, Byakuya-sama," Tetsuya said respectfully, "Would you like a clan healer to come?"

"No," Byakuya said, shaking his head and then immediately regretting it, "I will be fine, Tetsuya, arigato."

He watched quietly as Tetsuya left the room, and Torio returned with his tea.

"Do you need anything else, sir?" the youth asked.

Byakuya blinked as a memory flashed in his mind.

_"Just follow now."_

_He forced his body to relax._

_"Now, look into your partner's eyes," Renji instructed him._

_"Why?" asked the noble._

_"It helps you keep your balance," laughed the redhead._

_I think it makes me feel giddy..._

_"Now, just follow...go right along with me."_

"N-no, that will be all. I wish to rest now. You are dismissed until lunchtime."

Byakuya watched Torio leave, then summoned a hell butterfly.

"Abarai, I will not be in today. I will need you to bring anything needing my approval to the manor. Arigato."

He sent the hell butterfly winging away, then laid down and tried to fall asleep. But when he closed his eyes, he saw Renji's face and smelled the lovely, exotic scent of him. He felt again, the beauty of waking up sprawled across that strong, tattooed body, being held in Renji's strong arms. He felt a hot flush rise on his cheeks, remembering.

_But Renji brushed the whole thing off, as though it was nothing. Did he do that to save me the embarrassment, or did it really mean nothing to him?_

He remembered then, what Renji had said about Shuuhei, and taking him to The Black Rose to begin moving things forward.

_So Renji is interested in him...not me._

The thought made him so sad that he couldn't fall asleep. He took sips of his tea, until it was gone, then stared up at the ceiling, wondering if he would ever again feel the warmth of Renji's beautiful, strong body pressed up against his, those hot, hungry lips seeking his as they had...until he had lost consciousness.

_What would have happened, had I remained conscious?_

He thought about it as he exited his bed and slipped out into the fragrant gardens. He only meant to walk the garden pathway, but felt so unhappy inside that he passed through the back gate, out onto the forest trail, and followed it up to the pretty waterfall and lake. He sat down beneath a sakura tree, looking out over the lake and reliving again, what it was like to wake up nearly naked and wrapped in Renji's arms. Before he quite knew what was happening, he drifted off and found himself there again.

_"Are you comfortable there, Taichou?" Renji asked, his hand snaking down the noble's bare, white back and curling around his bottom._

_Byakuya breathed in the intoxicating mix of their blended scents and sighed._

_"Perfectly, Renji," he whispered, smiling._

_The smile stayed with him as Renji's hot, delicious mouth captured his, and that strong, beautiful body held his down. Byakuya's fingers traced the bold lines along his throat and shoulders, then slid down his back, leaving light pink trails on his skin. He caught his breath in surprise as Renji's hands found his and lifted them above his head._

_"Time for a little payback," the redhead said, smirking and invoking a kido rope that tied the noble's wrists together and then bound them to the sakura tree he laid beneath._

_"I know you could probably break it in a second, but I'm kinda hoping that you won't..."_

_Byakuya pulled lightly on the kido ropes, enjoying the tension and friction against his wrists, an area usually covered by his fingerless gloves. There was something marvelously sensuous about being touched there. Renji's mouth attacked his, the redhead's fiery tongue thrusting into his mouth and seeking to touch him everywhere inside. His hands clenched within their bonds as Renji's mouth left his and burned a scorching trail down his body. He shivered inside as the redhead's strong hands parted his thighs, and that wonderful mouth moved on to pleasure him down lower, sucking at his navel, then following the trail of fine hairs down to the part of him that leaked and throbbed anxiously, waiting and longing for the redhead's touch._

_"Renji!" he gasped._

The sound of a twig breaking, brought Byakuya out of his reverie, and he found himself sitting up beneath the sakura tree, his skin flushed with arousal, and his eyes locking on the very person whom he had been daydreaming about.

"S-sorry Taichou," the redhead said, shifting uncomfortably, "I didn't mean to wake you, but...I had these...papers for you to sign."

"Ah...yes," said Byakuya, "Bring them here."

He realized then what had made Renji blush, and adjusted his yukata, where it had crawled up his thigh, revealing more than a little of the creamy, white flesh it was supposed to be covering.

"I apologize for making you come all of this way, just for this," Byakuya said, quickly signing the documents, "Would you like to stay for dinner? I imagine that it is the least I can do to repay you for protecting my honor last night."

"Oh, I'd love to, Taichou, but I have a date."

"A...date?" Byakuya repeated, trying not to sound disappointed, "With...?"

"Ah, Shuuhei," Renji said, a deeper flush rising on his skin, "Evidently, he was pretty impressed with the whole 'swooping in, kicking the bad guy's ass and saving my taichou,' thing last night. We're having dinner at the noodle shop...nothing fancy. But I get the feeling he might be ready for us to get more serious."

"I-is that so?" the noble said, his heart sinking as he handed the papers back to the redhead.

He looked out over the lake and meadow, glad for the setting sun that gave his eyes a reason to burn and water.

"Thank you for looking after things today, Renji," he said softly, "Enjoy your evening."

"Sure thing, Taichou," the redhead said, turning away.

It took everything in him not to move as Renji walked away from him.

_I imagine I must keep up some illusion of having pride left to consider._

_And besides, he is happy. As much as I want him to love me, he is happy with Shuuhei. That man is his peer...comes from the Rukongai also, and has been Renji's friend for some time. It is better that I just admit that I was dreaming. I will treasure those kisses we exchanged last night, Renji._

_I love you._

_I love you enough to see that you deserve to be happy...even if you find that happiness with someone else._

_And not me..._


	8. Crying on the Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya is handed a perfect opportunity to make a move on Renji...

_Why can't I just put him out of my mind? It is far too late now to go back and change this. So late at night, Renji is probably lying naked in a comfortable bed somewhere, with his exquisite body wrapped around his new lover's._

_If I could go back to that moment and change it..._

Byakuya's mind drifted, nearing sleep, but not quite achieving it.

_"Renji!" he gasped._

_The sound of a twig breaking, brought Byakuya out of his reverie, and he found himself sitting up beneath the sakura tree, his skin flushed with arousal, and his eyes locking on the very person whom he had been daydreaming about._

_"S-sorry Taichou," the redhead said, shifting uncomfortably, "I didn't mean to wake you, but...I had these...papers for you to sign."_

_"Ah...yes," said Byakuya, "Bring them here."_

_And this time, when Renji's warm, calloused hand extended to give him the papers, Byakuya let his own brush against it. And as Renji's eyes met his, and the fact of their touching like that roared through Byakuya's body, he forced down the urge to hide the emotion, and let himself react. His delicate eyelids fluttered for a moment, his heart quickened and made him feel momentarily stunned, and he looked back at the redhead, not daring to move, or even to breathe._

_"Taichou, are you okay?" the redhead said uncertainly, frowning and leaning towards him._

_Byakuya's hand seemed to move of its own accord, finding its way to Renji's cheek and capturing his face, gently. He looked into the redhead's stunned red-brown eyes and closed the distance between them._

_Byakuya's eyes closed as he kissed Renji, but he opened them again a moment later as he felt something damp touch his lips._

_Renji is...crying?_

_And suddenly, they weren't beneath the sakura tree anymore. The redhead was alone on a bed, sitting up with his back against the wall, his arms wrapped around his knees and his handsome face buried in those curled arms._

_Why is he crying? ___

_He could hear the soft sobs that he tried to muffle, so that they wouldn't be heard. But Byakuya could hear the louder cries of the young man's heart, reaching out and pulling at him._

Byakuya came awake suddenly and sat up in his bed, just as a flash of lightning lit his bedroom, and he heard the first drops of rain outside.

"Renji?" he whispered, his heart pounding.

_It was just a dream, no? It has to have been. Renji was going out with Shuuhei, and he looked forward to them starting a deeper relationship. Why would he be crying?_

_Unless..._

_But that is crazy! It has to have just been the way my mind was thinking. I can't really have seen..._

But his heart still ached and pounded with the truth of what he had felt. And in the end, Byakuya couldn't ignore it.

_No one has to know. No one will see. I will just go and make certain that all is well._

He slipped out of bed and found a warm, hooded rain cloak in the closet. He wrapped it around himself and slipped out of his room, past the watchful guards so fast that their eyes could not see, and out into the dark, rainy streets.

He wasn't sure where Renji had been in his dream, so he headed first for the redhead's apartment. The skies opened up as he flash stepped through the blackness, his heart still throbbing with memory at what he had seen.

_He looked miserable...as though his heart was broken._

Thinking about that made Byakuya flash step faster. He hardly noticed when his hood flew back, letting the raindrops fall into the long strands of his hair. Some landed on the porcelain skin of his cheeks and drizzled downward as he continued running towards Renji's apartment. He slowed as he reached it, and paused, looking up at the second floor room, extending his senses.

The lights were out in the apartment, and he could sense no one within it, so he looked about, thinking quickly.

_If they were at Shuuhei Hisagi's home, or at the ninth division, then Renji would hardly have a reason for crying. He might have gone to the living world, but there is one more place here he might go._

Byakuya turned away from the apartment building, heading back across town to the sixth division. He kept his senses extended, but the storm around him had strengthened and the wind howled in his ears. Icy rain struck his face painfully now, and the air chilled him inside as it struck his lungs. The wind tore at his cloak, pulling it back and letting the rain invade, until he was nearly soaked. He was drenched by the time he reached the sixth, and stumbled through the front door, barely able to feel his nose, cheeks and fingers that the rain and wind had chilled.

Byakuya paused in the entry for a moment, shedding his cloak and hanging it on the coat rack near the door to dry. He shook out his hair and glanced down at his soaked yukata, glad for the fact that he was alone in the office and no one could ask how and why he was running about in the middle of the night in his bedclothes. He walked to his quarters and slipped out of his wet clothes, wanting to sink into the large, hot, jetted tub right away, but having something more pressing on his mind.

He left his room and walked towards the squad kitchen, pausing at Renji's door and sensing easily that the redhead was both awake and alone. He heard a soft, muffled sound and a softer sniff, and his lips tightened.

_So...it was real?_

_But how did I sense that?_

He put the thought aside for a moment and continued on to the squad kitchen, where he made two cups of green tea and placed several of Renji's favorite almond cookies on a small plate. He carried these back to the redhead's room and paused outside the door. The muffled sounds continued inside the room, stopping only when Byakuya tapped lightly on the door.

"Abarai?" he said quietly.

The sounds stopped inside the room. Then, Byakuya heard Renji's footsteps approaching the door. The door opened, and Renji's tired, drawn face appeared. It didn't get past the noble that the redhead kept his eyes lowered just enough to hide the fact that he had been crying. He blinked and stared uncomprehendingly at Byakuya's damp hair and skin, and the tray he was carrying.

"Wh-what's this? What do you want, Taichou?" he asked in a lost sounding voice, "It's the middle of the night...and you said that you weren't going to be in until tomorrow. Did...something happen?"

"No," the noble said, looking down at the tray, "I simply couldn't sleep..."

"Ah, because of the storm?"

"Perhaps. And when I arrived, I heard sounds as though you also might not be sleeping. I wondered if you might join me...for a cup of tea and a warm soak."

Renji paused for a moment, trying to make sense of the words.

"You look like you've already had a good soak, Taichou," he answered, his lips almost smiling.

"Yes," agreed the noble, "but I am afraid it wasn't warm at all."

"Yeah, I can see that. You're shivering."

"And getting colder by the moment," Byakuya admitted, "That is why I imagined that it would feel good to enjoy the hot tub for a time before settling down. Would you like to join me?"

Renji hesitated.

"Ah...um, I really would," he said finally, "but I am really beat. Thanks for the tea and cookies, though.

Byakuya bit his lip gently and nodded as Renji lifted them from the tray.

"Well," he said softly, "If you change your mind, my door is open to you."

"Thanks, Taichou," Renji said, looking genuinely grateful, "Good night."

Byakuya stood quietly in the hallway even after the door had closed between them.

"Good night, Renji," he whispered, turning away.

He walked into his room and set his tea down on the nightstand, then sat down on the bed, frowning and aching inside, not knowing what to do. In the end, he sighed and stood again, stripped his yukata away and slid his pale, naked body into the hot tub, then touched the button to start the jets.

The rumble and vibration soothed his battered nerves, and the delicious heat seeped through his chilled body, stealing away the cold as he sank down into the riled water. He still felt an ache inside that Renji had refused him.

_But it is hardly unexpected. I have been harsh with him before. Why would he turn to someone who nitpicks at him constantly and always finds fault with him? He would be better off going to Rukia or Ichigo, or one of his hundreds of other friends. Yes, Renji has no lack of confidants. He doesn't need me as a shoulder to cry on._

_Why would anyone come to me for something like that...with the exception, perhaps, of Tetsuya. But that is a completely different thing. That is brotherhood, mutual platonic love and respect. There is nothing platonic about what I feel for Renji. It is...deep, blindingly powerful, overwhelmingly passionate._

_I wish that I had been in my right mind last night when we were kissing. Of course, if I had been in my right mind, I wouldn't have dared. I would have laid beside him, still as a stone, afraid of offending him._

_But when I woke up with him this morning, he didn't look offended at all. He looked amused...accepting. He was blushing. That must mean something, ne? If he is not in love with me, yet, it must mean that there is some hope for us. But if we cannot talk to each other...if he is always too respectful and intimidated and I am always too worried about being rejected, then we will never get anywhere!_

_What do I do?_

_"What do I...?_

"Taichou?"

Byakuya froze, hardly daring to believe his ears or to open his eyes. He waited for a moment, then cracked an eye open.

_He is really standing there?_

"I tried to go back to sleep," the redhead said, moving forward and setting his tea and cookies down at the edge of the hot tub, "but I couldn't drift off. You don't mind if I take you up on your offer?"

"Not at all," Byakuya said quietly, "You can put your clothes over there."

Renji seemed to move in slow motion, turning his back and walking to the hooks on the wall, keeping his back to Byakuya as he seemed to fumble with the tie, then managed it. The yukata fell away, revealing the lovely, tanned flesh of his back, and the bold, black tattoos that ran down the back of his neck, spreading out, over his shoulders and dancing down his slender torso, spilling onto his rounded bottom and running down the backs of his thighs.

_Oh, my kami. I don't believe I have ever seen anything in nature as beautiful as that!_

He was careful to avert his eyes as Renji turned around and walked back to the hot tub, seemingly unaware or at least casually uncaring about his nakedness. Byakuya couldn't help but observe (as cautiously as possible, of course) the full array of tattoos that ran down the front of his shoulders, decorating his proud chest, then tickling their way down over his soft belly, and framing his currently flaccid genitalia, then meandering down his thighs and lower legs.

_Perfect._

He could have cried when Renji slid down into the water and the bubbles obscured all but his head, shoulders and broad chest.

"Thanks, Taichou. It's been kind of a crappy day. It started out okay. Waking up with you was kinda cute, you know? It was nice, not waking up alone. And you look really different with your hair let down and kinda messy. I liked it. But everything seemed to go downhill after you left."

_I wish that meant what I want it to..._

"I apologize for leaving without even thanking you, Renji," Byakuya said, coloring slightly, "But my mind wasn't terribly clear, and I didn't know exactly how I would have ended up in your bed, in any case."

_Not that I didn't love finding myself there._

"Hey, it's okay," the redhead said, smiling ruefully, "You must have been pretty shocked. I mean...of all the places to wake up, ne? Of all the guys to find yourself wrapped around."

"I assure you, I was actually very relieved to find myself with you. You are one of the few I would trust not to take advantage of me in such a condition."

"Yeah, nobles are pretty as anything I've ever seen," Renji said, shaking his head, "You need to find yourself some better friends, Taichou. That guy you went out with was awful."

"Well," said Byakuya, the corners of his lips turning upward, "I do not think that he was expecting such capable resistance as you provided. Again, arigato, Renji."

"Hey, like I said before. If anything ever threatens you, I will be there. I swear it. That includes when you get mauled by lousy, perverted nobles."

Byakuya took a steadying breath.

"I believe you," he said, trying to keep the calm in his voice, "However, I hope that you know that the reverse is true as well."

Renji blinked in surprise.

"Surely, you didn't think that such a gift as that would not be returned, ne Renji?"

"But...well, I was just doing what any good fukutaichou should do for his taichou. I didn't expect you to..."

"Renji, I am going to borrow your words," Byakuya said, meeting the redhead's eyes and feeling his heart shake inside him.

_Please don't reject me._

_Not this time._

"Just...don't worry. I'm here," the noble said breathlessly, "I know you won't admit that you ever feel like you need me, but everyone needs somebody...even really strong people like you. I know I wasn't there for you when Rukia was sentenced to death, and you couldn't help but try to save her. A friend should be there for his friend at times like that, and I wasn't. But there won't be any more moments like that. If anything ever threatens you, I will be there. I swear it."

He gazed into Renji's stunned eyes and gave him the ghost of a smile.

"Now, I will be honest with you. I know that you were crying about something. I heard. I apologize for interfering, but...if you would like to talk about it, I will listen."

Renji's eyes threatened to fill with tears again, but he fought them off and bit at his lips to maintain better control.

"Oh that," he said, his voice quivering slightly, "It was nothing. Just more proof that I don't know fucking anything. Not even about my own...friends."

Byakuya looked at him silently and waited. Renji looked down at the water, his mind working as he tried to think of what to say. He let out a soft sound of surprise and blushed as the water jets turned off and he was stricken with a lovely view of his taichou's naked body. Byakuya fought off a smile and turned the jets back on.

"I am sorry. You were saying?" he asked.

"Yeah," sighed the redhead, "You know how I thought that Shuuhei asked me out to maybe move things forward?"

"I remember you telling me that, yes."

Renji let out a frustrated breath.

"Well, it seems I got the completely wrong idea."

"What do you mean?" Byakuya asked, frowning.

"Ah...he was there about a relationship alright. Just...not one with me."

"Renji..."

"He wanted to ask me if I would be his best man," Renji said, shaking his head.

Byakuya froze, staring.

"I always knew he liked Rangiku, and that he had dated both guys and girls. And I even knew they'd had sex...you know? But he never said that it was all that serious. I completely missed what was really going on."

"You accepted, didn't you?" Byakuya said solemnly.

"What?" Renji said, looking surprised at his words, "Yeah, of course I accepted. Shuu is my friend. I wasn't going to mess things up for him by admitting anything after he told me that."

"Of course not. A loyal friend would never do that. And you are the most loyal of friends," Byakuya said, leaving Renji staring at him wordlessly, "Why do you look surprised? Do you think that I, of all people, do not understand that there are times when we must fight ourselves and lie through our gritted teeth to spare someone else's honor? Or in the case of your friend, his feelings?"

Renji's jaw dropped and guilt entered his eyes.

"Oh...well, yeah. I just wasn't thinking. You know, as much time as I spend not thinking, it's not so damned surprising that I miss things, right and left. I know I must have, in this case. While I was looking at Shuuhei and thinking about what we could have together, Mr. Right just probably passed right by me, and I never even knew he was there."

Tears filled Renji's eyes again, and this time, he let them fall.

"Gods, I'm such an idiot. I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone because I can't fucking tell when someone is or isn't trying to tell me that he loves me!"

_There couldn't be a moment more perfect...a time when he will be more open and needing. All I need to do is to close the distance._

_And hope for the best._

A pale hand reached out and captured Renji's cheek, bringing their faces closer together.

"If that is true," Byakuya said softly, "then you are not alone in experiencing that frustration. Sometimes what you want so badly is right in front of you...but you cannot see it. You reach out, but you cannot feel it, even when it touches you. And tragically, something so obvious...is the one thing you cannot perceive...even when it holds and comforts you, while you cry for what wasn't meant to be."

"What do I do? How do I get there?" Renji whispered, tears rolling down his face, "How do I see what I'm missing?"

Byakuya's heart fluttered, feeling the moment of truth arriving. He parted his lips and let his heart speak for him.

"Reach back," he said, leaning forward and bringing their lips together, "When it reaches for you, reach back. You and this person who loves you must both reach out, so that you can find each other."

If the water had warmed him, the deep kisses that they fell into burned through the noble, blazing down to the very tips of his curled toes. He wasn't sure how it happened, whether Renji had pulled him onto his lap, or he had just migrated there as they kissed. But he felt the hard swell of the redhead's arousal and registered a soft jolt of inner warning. With an effort, he stopped their kissing and looked into Renji's eyes.

"Damn," said the redhead, unable to stop smiling, "You're a really good kisser, Taichou. But...you don't have to do this for me."

"What?" Byakuya said, frowning.

"This...this kissing me and trying to comfort me. What you said before made me feel a lot better. And...I don't think we want to confuse things between us. I mean, things are good now. We shouldn't mess that up by having sex, just because you wanted to make me feel better about things."

"You mean, you think that I...?"

"You're a good friend, Taichou," Renji said, stopping the noble in his tracks, "And a good friend is exactly what I need tonight. Thanks."

"Well," said Byakuya, his frown deepening and his eyes darkening, "As your friend, I think that you should not be alone tonight. You may stay with me...in my quarters, and we will not have sex."

"Okay," Renji laughed softly, "But, erm...Taichou, kissing is still okay, ne?"

Byakuya's lips quirked as he tried to hold onto his frown.

"Kissing is acceptable, of course," he answered, sinking into the redhead's mouth.

"Mmmmmmm," Renji sighed, "And how about a little touching? Is that okay too?"

Byakuya gave him a soft, warning glare.

"As long as it does not lead to us having sex."

"Agreed," Renji moaned around his lips, "No sex tonight..."

"No sex tonight," Byakuya agreed.

 _But...tomorrow_ , the two thought together, _Anything is possible_.


	9. Sugar and Spice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya and Renji run into a little bit of trouble.

It was the second day in a row that Byakuya woke to find himself held tightly in Renji's arms and nearly naked. And once again, his face was burrowed beneath the redhead's chin, and he breathed in Renji's wonderful, primal scent that had somehow managed to become a deep craving. He gazed quietly at where the fingers of one of his more slender and paler hands had entangled with Renji's larger, rougher and more golden browned ones. He loved their contrasts, Renji's dark skin to his light, his feral, wild masculine scent to Byakuya's more sedate and soothing sakura scent, red against black, noble mingled with peasant, roughness and softness...all of it so intoxicating, so thoroughly enjoyable that he never wanted it to end.

Renji snored softly, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. The fingers of his free hand were sunk into the noble's fine hair, and moved gently as the redhead slept and dreamt. Byakuya smiled against the skin of his throat, enjoying their closeness and how relaxed and comfortable they were together.

_It is only a step away from falling all of the way into love, he thought, but before we allow ourselves to fall completely, a good foundation must be laid. We have been comrades and, since Rukia's rescue, something akin to friends. But Renji still looks at me as his untouchable taichou...well, untouchable by the most serious definition. It is time for that to change, for me to come clean with him about what I've been feeling._

_But how will he respond?_

Byakuya loosed a soft sigh and kept his face burrowed beneath Renji's chin. He listened to the gentle rise and fall of the redhead's breathing and let the fingers of one hand explore the pattern of bold lines he no longer had to look at to trace.

_Yes, I have studied them so many times just in these last hours, so as not to forget them ever, but to be able to trace them in the air when I remember this._

Renji's breathing slowed and softened under the gentle exploration of the noble's hands as they traveled over his chest, caressing and appreciating, learning and following. Every touch was light, gentle, searching, and his eyes meandered ever so slowly downward, memorizing.

_Because this is a sinful, lovely thing that I may only experience this once._

_Abarai Renji, resting comfortably in my bed, uncovered...revealed...and perfectly relaxed. Such a work of art has never found a way into my heart before. I wonder what I will feel when he gets up and leaves..._

"Hey," Renji whispered suddenly, startling him so that his hands stopped moving, "What's with that look on your face, Taichou?"

"What do you mean?"

"W-well," the redhead said, yawning sleepily and scratching his head, mussing his handsomely tumbled hair even more, "Before...you were touching me all over...looking at me the way an art dealer looks at a painting he wants to buy...you know, poring over every detail and appreciating. But then, all of a sudden, you looked different. You looked...sad. Why?"

"Hmmm," sighed the noble, thinking quickly and speaking before he had really considered what the words meant, "Perhaps it is just that moment when you, as a connoisseur, realize that a work of art is too fleeting a thing. And so, caught between the joy of experiencing it and wanting to protect it from decline as long as possible, you cannot help but be conflicted...as beautiful as the work of art before you is."

"Huh," Renji mused, turning onto his stomach.

_Is he offering me...more?_

"The thing that I've always thought about art," the redhead said, still in that sleepy voice, "is that...it exists to be seen...interacted with...loved. Even if that love will slowly wear on it and change it. Some people think that the way to protect it is to lock it up and hide it. But it doesn't stop the art from slowly losing its beauty. So the question is...what's better? To lock it away and let it sit, unseen and untouched? Or to allow itself to be brought out and appreciated? If I was a work of art, I would want to be appreciated...even if that meant that I would lose my beauty a bit faster."

_You will never lose your beauty, Renji. Because as lovely as your markings are, they are not the most beautiful part of you. That part is not experienced with the senses, and it will never fade._

"There's that sad look again, Taichou. If it bothers you, you don't have to do that."

Byakuya paused for a moment, then let his hands return to their explorations.

"People look at art because they want to feel something. They want to be moved. Some art delights the senses, but the beauty in other art is that it brings more intense, gripping emotion."

"And you feel this now? Looking at me?" Renji asked softly, "Why, Taichou? I mean...you don't...you're not just...feeling sorry for me, ne? I did get hurt by misunderstanding Shuuhei, but you don't have to...to do all of this comforting. The coming to my room and offering your company, letting me into your room, your hot tub, your bed. Kissing me. Touching me all over like this. As much as I like it and don't want it to stop, I wonder why you are doing this."

_Because I love you._

_I have loved you for some time now, and I have not been able to tell you._

_I only need to open my mouth and tell you now._

_But what are these alarms going off in my head?_

Then, he realized suddenly that the alarms were real.

"Code yellow. Disturbance at the western gate. A garganta has opened. Division six, please respond."

Byakuya was on his feet and whispering a reply to a hell butterfly as he hurriedly dressed. Renji dashed out of the room and met him, fully dressed, a few moments later in the office. They burst out the front door together and flash stepped all of the way to the mentioned gate.

They heard the screeches of hollows before they arrived, and drew and released their weapons as they approached. Petal and fang slashed at the hollows, destroying them in droves.

_This, too, is a kind of art...how we move and work together so seamlessly now. We anticipate each other and harmonize naturally from knowing each other so well._

They moved with deadly precision, Byakuya's pink petal blades rising up to attack first, stunning the enemy with its brightness, cutting into them, and obscuring their view of the huge skeletal snake that followed, raking across the battelfield, slamming into the battered remains of the group, then sweeping the area clean with a sweeping release of red fire.

_This is a kind of 'one time' art...a performance that is meant to be appreciated in a very small space of time, then remembered for what it was..._

"Taichou, they're running," Renji called to him.

He didn't have to answer. Renji was moving with him as he flash stepped towards the garganta and they entered it together, racing through the black underground cavern, barely able to see, but remaining perfectly aware of where they were in relation to each other...the raven-haired taichou a step ahead, with his trusted fukutaichou a step behind and at his right. Byakuya sent a highly controlled volley of petals ahead of them, slicing into the retreating hollows, then opening at the center to let the skeletal snake slide through. It took aim on the one's heading towards the exit that was beginning to close.

"Hikotsu Taihou!"

The red blast swallowed up the remaining hollows in the cavern, and gave the two the chance to flash step out of the exit and into Hueco Mundo while the enemies that had escaped the cavern were still relling. Byakuya took in a flash image as they touched down, and realized at once that something was very, very wrong.

"Shit!" Renji panted, "Taichou! An invasion force..."

With speed that had to have finally surpassed Yoruichi senpai's, Byakuya looped an arm around Renji's waist and pulled him along in a blaze of flash steps that took them away from the hollow fighting unit and into the desert.

"Shouldn't you open a family senkaimon?" Renji yelled as they reached a cluster of tumbled rock and took cover.

"I cannot," the noble said softly, "Didn't you feel it, Renji? They have an area seal here. We have to reach the end of the restricted area to use my family's senkaimon to escape."

"Well, that sucks..." complained the redhead, "What do we...?"

Renji's words left off in a surprised gasp as Byakuya threw the two of them down suddenly, sending them into a very small cave, just large enough for them to share, lying down, side by side. He used a quick kido spell to slightly collapse the entrance, just as a group of hollows appeared outside. The two shinigamis watched breathlessly through the spaces between the fallen rocks at the entrance of the cave.

"Are you sure they went this way? I don't sense them. How do we even know they came through?"

"Shut up and don't try to think, baka! They came through. They wouldn't have expended all of that energy on blinding us otherwise. They're here. Just keep looking. We can't let them go back and ruin everything by warning the Gotei 13."

"With the area freeze, they can't gate away, so we'll find'em."

"Not if you keep talking and don't look, so shut up!"

The two concealed shinigamis rested quietly in the darkness, listening intently to the sounds of the hollows as they conducted sweeping searches of the area. They didn't risk speaking, but remained in close physical contact, each protecting and being protected by the other. With time, the sounds faded away, but the repressive gate freeze in the area, they could still not escape, but they relaxed enough to stretch and to relieve the points of pressure on their bodies. Byakuya flinched as something caused an intense, stinging pain in his lower left leg.

"You okay?" Renji asked softly, catching his breath as Byakuya inhaled in surprise and used a swift kido spell to destroy the large hollow spider that had bitten him, "Oi, Taichou, that's not good. Those things are poisonous."

"Tell me something that I do not know," Byakuya said dryly.

"Here, give me your leg," Renji said, going quiet again as the noble's use of kido brought several hollows close to them again.

Byakuya winced, but remained silent, his eyes on the redhead as Renji pulled gently on his injured limb to bring it upward, then angled it so that the moonlight that filtered into the small cave lit the area.

"Yup," Renji mouthed, "It's a nasty one."

"It can wait," Byakuya said, brushing it off, although the stinging in his leg was increasing and beginning to burn.

Renji let out an annoyed breath.

"No, it can't, Taichou," he insisted, "These things can get bad without proper healing. And to do that, we need a reiatsu cage."

"So, if it proves to be too debilitating, then you can raise one."

Renji shook his head firmly.

"I'm not going to risk fucking up and getting us captured. You want to do training with me, then we'll train on high level kido in a safe environment, not when there is a kido specialist lying next to me."

"Just who is taichou here, Abarai?" asked the noble, scowling at him, "I am not conducting training. I am saying that you are proficient enough in kido that I trust your skill."

Renji gave him a stunned look, then shook his head to clear it.

"N-no, Taichou. You're probably right...but...with you, I will always err on the side of caution. You're too important."

_Important?_

_Important to whom?_

_The Gotei 13? The Kuchiki clan? Or...perhaps, you?_

"Just...please, raise the reiatsu cage. I need to save my energy for healing you."

"Ah," sighed the noble, "You are stubborn. But very well. As you wish, then."

As many times as Renji had seen the noble employ the use of a power concealing kido cage, he had to, once again, admire the smooth, careful employment of the skill that made the power used to raise the cage blend in with the other sensual stimulus around them. The hollows that had sensed Byakuya's use of kido to destroy the spider, finished their search and set guards in the area. Renji listened carefully to their voices as Byakuya wove the reiatsu cage around them.

"The bosses are sure pissed. You can't breathe without them cutting loose. Goro killed the guys he sent out here earlier, just for coming back empty handed. But they're dealing with that petal throwing bastard. They know damned well that even they would have trouble finding him. So they look for someone to take the blame."

"Well, they're understandably pissed. They've been planning this raid for months and those two shinigamis have the whole fucking mission in limbo."

"They should have ordered the attack as soon as those two came in here...or in the time since."

"It's too risky to cross a large group like this over if they already know. We'd be sitting ducks."

"Man, I'd love to be the one to find those two and bring them in. Maybe Goro'd let me have a go at him before he killed him. He's got real pale skin for a shinigami...like milk. I'll bet it's soft..."

"Tell me that I am delirious and that I did not just hear a lowly, disgusting hollow speak about me that way," Byakuya moaned softly, a sweat breaking out on his forehead as his discomfort from the spider bite increased.

"Well, he does have a point about you having perfect skin, Taichou. But if you want, I'll go and kill him for saying that about you."

"Don't even joke about that, Renji. I cannot even stand to think of you throwing yourself away for nothing like that," the noble objected.

"Not for nothing," Renji said, smirking in a way that almost made Byakuya forget about the spider bite altogether, "For my taichou's honor."

"Shut up, Renji," the noble hissed softly, "Or I'll kill you myself for saying such a thing. I didn't invest huge amounts of effort in your training so that you could die defending me from simple words. Let them sting. Save your self sacrifice for a time when my life depends on it, and then only take that step if there isn't something more important to defend than me."

Renji shook his head and laughed softly.

"You're so serious, Taichou," he commented as Byakuya completed the reiatsu cage, "It's cute, but I get worried about you when you're like that."

"Worried...about me? Why?" Byakuya asked, enjoying the soft green healing light that blossomed around Renji's hands as he began the healing.

Renji shrugged and continued healing him.

"You seem depressed. You've been like that a lot lately. I don't know what's bugging you...but, you know, after how you were there for me last night when I was so down, I feel like I owe you. So, if I can help you in some way, just tell me."

Byakuya was suddenly grateful that the spider bite could be blamed for the blush that rose on his face.

"Thank you, Renji," he said, closing his eyes and fleeing from the conversation.

His mind wandered as Renji's healing energy surrounded the swollen bite on his leg, and he felt a disturbing numbness in the limb that seemed to spread dangerously as the spider venom invaded his systems. Renji worked quickly, capturing and extracting what he could, but felt an inward jolt of concern as Byakuya's face became more flushed, and when he opened his eyes, they had a more glazed and disoriented look.

"Renji," the noble whispered sleepily, "I think perhaps you were correct in your assessment of things before. My chest feels constricted."

"Yeah," the redhead agreed, "That venom's a bitch. It got ahead because I had to hold off extracting it while you raised the reiatsu cage. but I still got a lot of it out. You just have to ride out the discomfort. You're gonna be fine. Don't worry."

Byakuya recognized immediately, the lie in the words. Having been the one to cause Renji more fear than nearly anyone else, Byakuya knew it when he felt it. And Renji's fear, he knew, wasn't unfounded. Hollow spiders were notorious for causing extreme damage to the body, illness and death, if the injured person had a sensitivity, or if the wounds were not treated quickly and properly.

"Damn it!" Renji fumed softly, the knot of fear in his belly growing stronger as Byakuya's eyes became more hazy and his words slurred until he stopped trying to talk, "I need to get you out of here."

"Renji," Byakuya managed, wrapping a trembling hand around his wrist, "Do not be hasty. Think. The shinigami base. If we exit the cave, can you fix on it?"

"I think we're pretty far away," the redhead said, biting at his lips, "And there's a lot of shit, rocks and sand dunes obscuring..."

"Then...rise above that which obscures."

"M-my bankai?" Renji asked, frowning, "Taichou, there's guards all around. By the time we slip out of here and I release..."

"No...in here."

"What?" objected the redhead, nearly forgetting about the hollow guards in the area, "But...? Taichou, are you sure you're not delirious? My bankai in here? I'll blow this thing sky high and collapse a bunch of rock and sand..."

"Not if we work together," said the noble, "On my count, I will place my senkei inside the reiatsu chamber, and simultaneously as I cause it to explode outward, raise the skeletal snake and carry us up into the air."

"B-but...!"

"You will have but a moment before the standing army in the area spots you and begins firing at us...and even your bankai will not withstand the force of it, so you must find the direction quickly and head for the base."

"Okay, now I know you're delirious!" Renji insisted, "Taichou..."

"It is either that, or at some point I will deteriorate to the point where your patience gives out and you do something insane, that even if it works, will probably shock me to death with its brazen disregard for life and limb. Rather than reach that point, I think we will force the issue now, while you are still collected enough to think clearly."

"That's not nice, Taichou," Renji complained, "It may be kinda true, but...not nice!"

"If I chose to be 'nice' over being strategic right now, we would both likely die, and I do not think you want that, ne?"

"Yeah," Renji sighed, looking put off, "I guess we should both play to our strengths..."

"Now, who is not being nice," the noble said, frowning.

"Hey, I call'em as I see'em," the redhead laughed, loosening Zabimaru in his sheath, "So...you ready to get outta here, Taichou?"

"More than ready," Byakuya sighed, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

"You sure you can manage your..." Renji began, then he stopped at the scathing look Byakuya gave him, "Okay, sorry. Go ahead, then. Knock yourself out..."

"Ah...I meant to tell you," the noble said off-handedly, "In my reduced state, I may lose consciousness. But I will endeavor not to do so until after I detonate my senkei."

"Oh," said Renji, rolling his eyes, "Good to know that, Taichou. Thanks..."

Byakuya slid his weapon free and mentally scaled down the size of the release to fit the limited space of the cave, then wrapped a kido shield around the two of them and began to raise the power. His body shook softly with the effort as the reiatsu around them blossomed until the cage shook warningly.

"Ready?" the noble panted, looking into Renji's eyes.

"Whenever you are," the redhead answered.

"Now!"

Outside the confines of the tiny cave, the hollow guards on duty felt a sudden vibration under their feet and drew their weapons, looking around frantically for the source. A moment later, the ground in front of them exploded outward, sand and rock swallowing them up and billowing outward, setting the army on alert as Renji's skeletal snake screeched and rose up into the sky. Almost immediately, ceros took aim on the huge, distorted shape amidst the dark cloud of debris, and Renji had but a split second to sense the direction and fire the snake towards the distant base. Taichou and fukutaichou clung to the beast's furry mane as the skeletal snake soared across the night sky, bearing down on the shinigami base as flying hollows launched themselves after and continued the heavy release of ceros.

Renji felt the sudden decline of Byakuya's reiatsu and wrapped an arm around his waist, holding him tightly as the skeletal snake raced towards the base, banking slightly to avoid the pounding ceros and to miss the hollows that rose up ahead of them and moved purposely into their path.

"You hanging in there okay?" Renji asked as the attacks eased and the base came into sight.

Byakuya gazed at him through hazy eyes and found the truth pouring out from between his lips before he could stop it.

"You are beautiful, Abarai Renji. I love you."

He was too far gone to see Renji's face or hear his reply. He sank down into comforting darkness, feeling oddly safe with Renji's arm around him like that and the redhead pressed up against him, holding on so tightly.

_If we can just hold on..._

_...everything will be..._


	10. Longing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renji ponders Byakuya's strange behavior.

"Byakuya taichou..." Renji called worriedly, gazing down at his unconscious commanding officer, "C'mon, wake up! You're really starting to freak me out, here."

He squeezed Byakuya's cool, limp hand and touched his face lightly, then patted it gently.

"Taichou, it's time for you to wake up, okay? We're safe in the fourth division and Unohana taichou's fixed you up. We're just waiting for you to come outta this, all right? C'mon..."

The redhead sighed in frustration and sat back in his chair, his heart throbbing fitfully in his chest as he gazed down at Byakuya's very beautiful and serene face.

_He said he thinks I'm beautiful...that he...loves me! It's got to have been the injury. He was delirious, ne? He couldn't really have said that to me. I'm not one of those gorgeous, rich noble guys, like that Hisoka guy. Of course, Hisoka was a complete jerk, but I'm sure there have got to be a hundred noble guys just as good looking as him who are nicer types...who are real gentlemen and would be good for Byakuya-taichou._

_Why would Taichou love a guy like me?_

_I mean, I know he's not stuck up, even though he tries to pretend he is, sometimes. He just does it because it's expected of him to be that way, and he doesn't want to rock the boat. He does what he does because he loves his late parents and old man Ginrei._

_But I know what this guy is really like at heart. He loved Hisana, even though she was a commoner, and he loved Rukia so that it tormented him when he couldn't protect her. And he's been good to me since we worked our way through the shit that went on between us. He's wanted me close to him and he's taught me a million things. I wouldn't be nearly so strong as I am today, if it hadn't been for him, but...could it really be like he said? That he loves me? That he thinks I'm beautiful?_

_Me?_

_I don't look like the kind of people he runs with. I'm tall and gangly, covered with tattoos and as much as my kido doesn't blow up in my face like it used to, my skin is rough from being out in the outdoors and not having a house, growing up...from working too hard to try to survive and training hard to be the fighter I am. I'm not soft skinned, sweet-smelling and beautiful, like him. I'm tanned, rough-mannered and sometimes I'm fucking clumsy! I don't know the first thing about being noble, except that he's noble, and that isn't just a matter of blood, it's a way of life._

_But, what happens if it's true and we fall in love, here?_

_Can that work? Can it really? And even if we do fall in love, am I gonna be ready to take on the whole deal? Some of those relatives of his are pretty snobby and brutal. I've been called a lot of names and treated like shit before, but I could always bust the person talking trash to me in the chops and take him down a notch. Would I have to just be quiet and take it?_

_What am I saying? Taichou doesn't seem like the kind of person who would just stand there and let me take their shit and expect me not to do anything, right? If we were together, he wouldn't just...expect me to change and be like them. If it was like that, then he wouldn't have fallen in love with a guy like me. You know, come to think of it, what he said to me, if it's real and not just that he was bitten by that fucking hollow spider's venom._

_It is real, isn't it? I mean, even before he got bitten by that spider, he was acting kinda strange around me lately. Especially before we got called away on that mission to Hueco Mundo. He was comforting me after me finding out about Shuuhei and Rangiku. But it wasn't all just comforting, was it? When I think back to the way his eyes were looking at me, the words he was saying, about them being like art and not wanting to damage the art, but not wanting to lock it away either. Was that really about art, or was he talking about me? He wants to fall in love with me? Maybe he wants to make love to me, but he's worried about how being in love will change things?_

_I would love it if Taichou fell in love with me, you know? And whatever I had to do or put up with from other people, to have him lie there next to me and look at me like he did before...yeah, there's not a lot I wouldn't do for that. But, is this for real?_

"Taichou, please wake up!" Renji pleaded softly, leaning forward and letting his head drop onto the unconscious man's shoulder.

"No luck?" Rukia asked from the doorway, "He's still out cold?"

"Yeah," the redhead sighed unhappily, "I keep talking to him, trying to get him to come awake, but he's really out of it. Unohana taichou said he would be all right, but..."

"But you're worried," Rukia said, sitting down next to him and looking down at her brother's handsome sleeping face, "I am too. I hope he wakes up soon, Renji."

"Me too."

He gazed down at the noble wordlessly for several minutes, then looked up at his longtime friend again.

"Hey, uh, Rukia?"

"Huh?"

"Look, there's something I want to ask you. I mean, you've talked about it some, but...what's it like, living in that place, surrounded by those noble types all of the time?"

"That's a weird question," the young woman commented, "I've told you before. The elders are pretty stern, but some of them are nice. And the elders don't live at Kuchiki Manor. There are subfamilies, other households. There's a council hall, where they gather to make decisions about things. Mostly, when I'm not at my division, I'm just around our household. The attendants at the manor are really great...but you know that. You were there. And some of our relatives are really down to earth, you know, like Tetsuya?"

"Did someone call for me?" Tetsuya asked, from where he had appeared in the doorway to the hospital room, "I thought I heard my name."

"Oh, I was just telling Renji that you and the attendants aren't like those stuffy elders."

"I will take that as a compliment, Rukia-chan," Tetsuya said, smiling and sitting down with them at Byakuya's side.

"But why were you asking such strange questions?" Rukia said, her focus shifting back to the frowning redhead, who continued to hold Byakuya's hand, "What's up with you?"

Renji thought for a moment, but couldn't come up with a way to explain.

"W-well...it's just...eh..."

He reached up and scratched the back of his neck to give himself more time to think, then decided that he should probably just come clean about everything. He just wasn't sure how to do that.

"It was something Taichou said," he started.

Then, he stopped and shook his head, thinking harder.

"No, it's not just what he said this time, when we were coming back. It's a lot of things he's been saying and doing lately that make me wonder if he really could be..."

He trailed off, earning an impatient glare from Rukia and a curious glance from Tetsuya.

"Would you just say it already?" Rukia complained, "What's wrong with you, Renji? You're acting strange."

"I know," Renji confessed, "I don't know what's going on, you know? I thought that it was that we were becoming friends, but now that I think about it, there are so many things I didn't think about before."

"Renji, what the heck are you talking about? Are you sure that hollow spider didn't make you delirious?"

"No!" Renji snapped crossly, "I'm trying to be serious, here, Rukia! Just, shut up for a minute and listen, okay? There was...there was the way he looked at me when I was changing his bandages. And how he smiled when I made the joke about the hospital food and how he wanted me to personally report to him at the manor while he was healing. And...!"

"Renji, are you feeling all right?" Rukia said, rolling her eyes and exchanging curious glances with Tetsuya, who was smiling slightly at the redhead's behavior.

"He was different when he came back to work," Renji babbled on, seeming to forget they were there, "His reiatsu was off and he seemed like he wasn't able to sleep well. I mean it could have been the injuries, but maybe..."

"I think Renji's lost it," Rukia commented, looking amused.

"Oh, I don't know," Tetsuya said, looking more closely at the redhead, "He looks sane enough to me, although a bit distracted."

"And when he changed in front of the mirror and I saw...did he mean to do that?"

 _Changed in front of the mirror_? Rukia mouthed questioningly.

"And he looked so cute, falling asleep with his papers all over..."

"Renji, I'm going to go and get Unohana taichou," Rukia said, starting to stand, then freezing as the excited redhead pulled her down again.

"No! I'm not going crazy, baka!" he objected, "I'm trying to tell you, I think that Taichou likes me!"

"Of course, he likes you, Renji," Rukia said, shaking her head in confusion. "I mean, you've come a long way since your misunderstandings before."

"But those weren't just stupid misunderstandings, Rukia," Renji insisted, "I hurt Taichou when I plotted against him and attacked him. But...but I think he really forgave me after that!"

"Of course he did. I knew that."

"But...it wasn't just that. There was the sakura smell outside the dance club...and then he had a bad dream and screamed my name!"

"He...what?" Rukia said, "Renji, you're really starting to scare me. You're not making any sense. You really need to..."

"It's okay, Rukia-chan," Tetsuya said, comprehension rising in his blue eyes, "I think I understand."

"And he seemed flustered a lot. I thought he was feverish, you know? But. it wasn't a fever, the way he acted..."

He thought harder, his forehead crinkling.

"There was that whole thing with the dancing. I mean, he already knew how to dance, but he asked me to help him. And then, he gave me those tickets to The Black Rose. Aw, fuck, and I took Shuuhei and...was that why that Hisoka guy put one over on him and he didn't see it coming?"

He looked from Rukia's befuddled expression to Tetsuya's more knowing one.

"You know something, don't you?" he asked quickly, "Tetsuya...!"

"Well, I will be honest with you," the blue-eyed noble confessed, "I have also noticed that Byakuya-sama has been acting a bit strangely lately. I wondered, at first, what it was, but I confess, I have been seeing signs of what you are talking about."

"You mean, you understand what this idiot is going on and on about?" Rukia asked, looking to be at the ends of her patience, "Is this one of those guy things that we girls just can't understand or something?"

"He wanted to dance with me," Renji said, his eyes growing affectionate, "That's why he called me to the manor and I wonder if he set that whole thing up. But...no way. No way he would...do something like that."

"Dance lessons?" Tetsuya repeated, "Byakuya-sama is an excellent dancer and he knows numerous styles of dance, though he only uses ballroom dance in front of anyone."

"You see, I'm not crazy!" Renji exclaimed, "And he looked mortified when we woke up in bed together with me kido locked to the headboard and he thought he took advantage of me..."

"Whoa! What?" Rukia gasped, staring at him.

"Then, I found him in the gardens and he was daydreaming and aroused. Was he daydreaming about me, then?"

"I think you're the one who's dreaming, Renji," Rukia sighed, smiling resignedly, "Sometimes..."

"He's been telling me all along," Renji rambled on, "in little ways, all over the place, but I wasn't expecting it, so I didn't see it at all! I'm so stupid!"

"Well, you won't get an argument form me on that," Rukia chuckled.

"Shut up, Rukia!" Renji laughed, realization making a strange giddiness fill his body, "I think he's really in love with me!"

Rukia blinked in surprise, but Tetsuya just smiled knowingly.

"You knew, didn't you?" Renji chided the noble, "You knew he liked me and you..."

"It wasn't my place to say anything," said Tetsuya, "and he never confessed directly, but I have known Byakuya-sama since we were just teens. I think that I can say with confidence that he is very attracted to you."

Rukia's eyes widened.

"Nii-sama is in love with...RENJI?" she shouted.

"Shut up, will you?" Renji snapped, putting a staying hand over her mouth and glaring at her, "Damn it! He must think I'm a moron! He tried so hard to tell me! And I was so damned clueless! And then...shit...I probably fucked up everything..."

"What?" asked Rukia, pulling his hand away from her mouth, "How did you ruin things?"

"He gave me the passes to the club because he wanted me to be there...and I showed up with Shuuhei and we were dancing real close. He...the things he said after I found out that Shuu was getting married to Rangiku and he found me crying. He was so good to me, even though he had to have been pretty hurt, seeing me get so upset over another guy."

Rukia and Tetsuya had gone quiet, and their eyes softened in understanding as the redhead went on.

"He held me, you know, he was real comforting. And he kissed me. He said the sweetest things and I just thought he was being sympathetic, but it wasn't just that. He was trying to tell me he was in love with me, but he didn't think it was the right time. Damn! I see it all now! But...what do I do?"

He frowned and stared down at his hand where it still held Byakuya's, his red-brown eyes intense as he fought to think of some way to tell the handsome, rich, raven-haired noble beauty he was head over heels in love with him too.

_But how?_

_What's the right way?_

"Renji?" Rukia said, more softly, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said dizzily, "I'm fine. I just...I have to..."

The germ of an idea rose in Renji's mind and a smile started to rise on his lips.

"What's going on?" Rukia asked, sounding worried.

"I'm fine," Renji said, grinning, "And I think I have an idea of what to do. But I need you guys not to say anything, okay?"

"Uh...s-sure," Rukia said uncertainly, "We won't say anything, right, Tetsuya-san?"

"Nothing at all," Tetsuya said, nodding briefly.

"I have to go. But, um, stay here. And when my hell butterfly comes, make sure that he takes it."

"What are you going to do?" Tetsuya asked.

"Just trust me. I am going to do something that will tell him everything I need to say!"

Tetsuya and Rukia watched as he flash stepped away, then Rukia sighed and shook her head.

"I knew all along," she lied, "It was totally obvious..."

XXXXXXXXXX

_He called me by name?_

Byakuya felt the cool brush of a wet washcloth on his face and the calm, comforting haze around him began to recede. Soft voices issued from somewhere nearby and he felt a touch of cool air coming in from the open door.

He tested his limbs gently and found that only his injured left leg appeared to be inhibited. He used the toes of his right foot to verify that, indeed, he still had a left leg, left foot and all five toes, then breathed a sigh of relief and let himself fall away again for a time.

_I told him I think he's beautiful. I told him that I love him. I wonder if Renji believed his ears. I wonder where he is...if he is happy that I said such a thing. Or perhaps, is he having to think it over?_

"He seems restless," said a soft, feminine voice that reminded him of Hisana's.

_Rukia..._

"He will be fine," said Unohana taichou's gentle voice, "I just gave him a pain block and something to help him sleep, "The worst is over. He just needs rest now."

_Ah, a pain block. No wonder I feel so muddled._

He felt Unohana taichou's soft hand touch his face and heard a gentle admonishment to go back to sleep, then dropped away into a tumble of hopeful dreams about what would happen when Renji came back.

_He didn't know whether to be unnerved or relieved upon waking. He gazed out the window, remembering when he had been hospitalized before and Renji had stayed with him._

"Nii-sama?" said Rukia, startling him as he suddenly realized that he wasn't alone in the room.

"Rukia? Tetsuya?" he queried softly.

He looked slowly around the room, then back at the two.

"Wh-where is Renji? He wasn't...?"

"Oh, Renji's fine," Rukia assured him, "He wasn't hurt. He was here for a long time with you. He just left a little while ago. He said he'll be back later. I think he had some work to do or something."

Rukia went still, her eyes widening as Byakuya's fastened on her, and he gave her and Tetsuya a troubled look.

"Rukia, Tetsuya, there is...something I need to..."

He broke off, staring, as a hell butterfly flitted into the room.


	11. Sweet Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya and Renji make their plans to confess their love to each other.

"Will you excuse me for a moment?" Byakuya asked, frowning at the hell butterfly that hovered in front of him.

Tetsuya and Rukia exchanged knowing glances and left the room.

Byakuya nodded at the fluttering insect.

 _Taichou_ , said Renji's voice, _Sorry I couldn't be there when you woke up. I received orders to report to Karakura Town for a confidential mission that couldn't wait. Unohana taichou said that you would be cleared to come and join me tomorrow, and I'll bring you up to speed then. Take care of yourself. I'll have your tea waiting when you get here._

Byakuya let out a soft breath and couldn't quite contain a smile at the warmth reflected in the other man's words.

_It is not an answer as such, but there is affection between us. I suppose that if he is not ready for a commitment, I would settle for just having this pleasant connection._

_But I want so much more for us!_

_Renji_...

He climbed out of the bed and walked gingerly to the window, looking out at the brilliant red and orange afternoon sky, thinking how much it reminded him of the fur mantle of Renji's bankai.

_What am I going to do?_

_I love that man with everything that is in me. I want to fall into his arms and never leave them. I could die in those warm, strong arms and I would only ever be happy._

"You really shouldn't be out of bed," Unohana's voice said from the doorway.

"My apologies," Byakuya sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed and watching quietly as the healer checked his vital signs, "I have slept too much, so I feel a bit restless."

"I think it isn't sleeping too much that has you restless," Unohana said, her eyes twinkling, "It is fairly obvious that you are doing some serious thinking."

"Unohana taichou," the noble said, biting at his lip gently, I have become...attracted to someone, someone who may or may not share my feelings. I want to be in a relationship with him, but...well, coming from a noble family, yourself, you know that there are rules and expectations that would trouble most commoners being faced with them. You understand what the expectation would be if I were to take a peasant man as a spouse."

"Yes," answered the healer, "And I could certainly be of assistance to you in meeting those...'expectations.' Perhaps you aren't ready for that now, but should you become ready, I will be happy to help you."

"That is good," the noble said, slipping back under the covers and lying down.

_Then, the only question is who would...?_

"You are doing much better," Unohana said, smiling, "You will be released in the morning."

"Ah, yes, thank you."

He continued to look out the window, his eyes blinking slowly as visions of a future that could be, flashed before him.

_But all of this rests on what Renji does next._

_What will he do?_

XXXXXXXXXX

"Abarai fukutaichou," said the stately, white-haired noble seated behind the desk of the tidy office Renji entered, "I was told that you had an urgent need to see me. What is it that brings you to the Kuchiki Council Hall?"

"Nori-sama," Renji said respectfully, "I didn't know who else to go to about this. You see, Taichou told me before that you were the one who most stood by him when he fell in love with Hisana-sama. You were close with his grandfather before he left for the spirit dimension."

"That is true," Nori confirmed, "Byakuya is the strongest leader our clan has ever seated. Ginrei saw that he was carefully raised so that his strong spirits were directed positively, as much as was possible. And where his needs clashed with the will of the council, Byakuya has always known that he could come to me. Why? What is it that you want from me, Abarai Renji?"

"Well...see, the thing is, I am really, very, extremely in love with Taichou...w-with Byakuya-sama. And he confessed to me that he is in love with me too. Look, I know that it's not gonna go over well with the Kuchiki council. I expect there to be resistance to the idea, but...I am willing to do whatever I have to do so that I can be with him. I love Taichou. I really love him. So, tell me, if I want to marry him, then what do I have to do?"

"Ah," Nori sighed, the beginnings of a smile touching his lips, "I see. So, he is in love again. I think that is a beautiful thing, Abarai fukutaichou. But you are correct in thinking that there will be some resistance. I am about attend a council meeting. I can assist you in presenting your case to them. Why don't you tell me everything and I will advise you how best to approach them."

"Thank you!" Renji said gratefully, "Thank you so much!"

XXXXXXXXXX

The gathered elders sat in their places at the large, oval table in the council meeting chambers, looking over reports and talking softly to each other. They paused as the chamber doors opened, admitting Head Elder Nori and a man the group quickly recognized as their leader's fukutaichou. Curious eyes focused on the two as they moved together to the head of the table and joined them.

"Members of council," Nori said calmly, meeting their eyes, "council is now in session. And before we begin, I add to the agenda a matter of importance concerning our leader."

"Is he all right?" a matronly female elder inquired, her look of concern echoed on several other councilors' faces.

"Byakuya will be fine," Nori answered, "He did sustain some injuries on a mission to Hueco Mundo, but he is healing well and will be released in the morning."

"It is good to hear that," commented a male councilor Renji remembered was named Ryuu, "So, this is why his fukutaichou is here?"

"Actually, Abarai-san comes to us to make a humble request."

He nodded in Renji's direction.

"Abarai Renji, please tell the council what you told me."

Renji stood, a helpless smile coming onto his lips as he prepared to speak.

"I don't think I have to tell any of you what an amazing person your leader is. From the moment I met him, I've wanted more than anything to be like him...to be strong, to be wise and powerful, to be well respected and to be able to protect the people I love. And since that time, no one has done more than Byakuya taichou to see that I worked at all of those things. He has helped me to become so much stronger, so much more powerful...and so much wiser that I realized...I don't just respect Byakuya taichou. I love him. And you can't begin to imagine what I felt when this amazing, wonderful man told me that he loves me too. You don't many chances like that in a lifetime. And when you come from the lowest part of the Rukongai, you usually never get a chance like that.

But I did. And I want to make sure that I don't waste that chance. I love Byakuya taichou. I want to be with him forever. I love being his protector and his friend, but I also want to be the one he loves...the first person he sees in the morning when he wakes up, the one who makes his tea personally, the one who makes sure that he is kept safe, even when he has to fight, and the one he lies down with every night.

I know I'm not the person that you would choose for him, but I am willing to do what I can to make this work for all of us. I am a taichou level shinigami. I am also a quick learner, so whatever you need me to do, so that you will give your blessing to us, I'll do it. Thank you for hearing me out."

"Thank you, Abarai-san," Nori said, nodding, "If you will wait in the council lobby, we will discuss your request and then call you back to give you our answer."

Renji nodded quietly in acceptance and left the room, moving out into the lobby and sitting down in a soft, comfortable chair.

_I wonder what they'll decide. I think I got it across the way Nori said to. I hope he was right about them being willing to listen if I showed a willingness to work with them. They have to give this their blessing. I really want to be with him!_

He looked out the window, his eye finding and focusing on the tall, white healing center building in the distance. He lost track of time, mulling over the details in his mind and pondering until the door to the council meeting chambers opened and an attendant ushered him back inside.

"Thank you for waiting," Nori said, motioning for the redhead to join him at the head of the table. Renji moved forward and sat down, his eyes scanning the faces of the elders and trying to read their expressions.

_I have no idea what they're gonna do. I'm kind of on a 'wing and a prayer' here._

"Abarai Renji," Nori said, looking into his eyes, "our council has carefully considered your request and we have several questions for you."

"O-kay," Renji said nervously, "What do I have to do?"

"It is obvious to this council," Nori went on, "that you and our leader have become very close, but are you sure that Byakuya will embrace the idea of marriage with you?"

"Well, I know that he has said before that his family is very important to him. And he confessed once to me that if he couldn't find someone he loved, he would consider it necessary to allow the council to choose someone for him. He said it would be hard to take marriage vows and live with someone he wasn't in love with, but that other leaders had to do that before him, so it was part of the deal when he became your leader. As far as marrying me, I haven't actually asked him yet. I knew that you all would need to think about that and give your blessing, and I know it's important to him to have that, so it's important to me too."

"And if we grant you our blessing, how will you go about asking him?"

"I have a plan for that," Renji said, smiling, "I know that you guys...sorry, nobles, have a way you go about courtship and weddings, but Rukia told me that sometimes a private wedding can take place earlier than the bigger clan wedding."

"And you want to have a private wedding?" Nori asked.

"Y-yeah, I do. I actually...want to surprise him with the proposal and wedding at the same time...and I want all of you to be there, because I know how much it would mean to him to see all of your there. He may not always do everything the way you folks like it, but he cares about what you think. He doesn't want to upset you or dishonor the family name, but the guy just wants to be happy."

"And you think that you will make him happy?" Nori asked.

"I'm sure as hell gonna give it my best!" Renji said, blushing, "Eh, sorry..."

"That is all right," Nori chuckled, "Why don't you tell us exactly how you plan to propose and what role we would need to play?"

Renji nodded and laid out the plan carefully for them, watching the councilors' faces as he explained and trying to control his racing heart as he saw several of them were smiling.

_Some of them still look kinda sour faced, but Taichou told me once that you can't always judge by that. I've just got to hope that they're going to go along with this. I wonder if I can really pull this off._

"It certainly seems that you have given this a great deal of thought, Abarai-san," Nori concluded, "And although we have our concerns about the particulars, in general, the council is favorable to the idea of a union between you and our leader."

"Really?" Renji said, finding himself suddenly standing, "Th-thanks! Oh kami, that is...!"

"There is...just one issue we have to resolve," Nori said, making Renji freeze and stare at him like a deer caught in the headlights of a very large truck.

"An...issue?"

"Children, Abarai-san."

"Children?" Renji queried, blinking, "I like kids. What about them? Is this about Taichou having to make a baby with..."

"This is about Byakuya making a baby...with you."

"Huh?" Renji mumbled dazedly, "W-with me? Eh..."

"If it was possible," Nori said, looking into Renji's barely comprehending eyes, "Would you carry our leader's child, Abarai Renji?"

XXXXXXXXXX

_What can I do_? Byakuya wondered, gazing out at the evening sky, where the first star was just coming into view, _I have held this back for so long, but I cannot do that anymore. The only right thing to do is to be honest and say the words. So, I will go to the council in the morning and I will explain to them how I feel about Renji. They will be reluctant, I am sure, but their reaction is not the one I fear._

_Can he love me?_

_Will he?_

_I wish with all of my heart that he would!_

_Whatever I have to do. Whatever he asks of me, I will do it. I just want to wake up every morning for the rest of my life in his arms. Is that too much to ask?_

Byakuya sighed and closed his eyes, surrendering quickly to restless sleep.

_The sound of a baby crying brought him awake and Byakuya sat up, rubbing his eyes and groaning at the late hour._

_"Don't worry, I've got this one," Renji said, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek, then exiting the bed and slipping into a comfortable robe. Byakuya waited for a moment, then followed, peeking out the bedroom door, then walking quietly to the door of the nursery, where Renji was inside, picking up their crying baby and bringing him to a warm shoulder._

_"Hey, hey, what the hell's all that racket?" he chided the baby in a low, easygoing voice, "You're going to wake Daddy Bya up and you know what he's like if he doesn't get his beauty rest, ne?"_

_Renji whispered into the baby's ear._

_"He turns into a grouch! Yeah, you've seen it before. He grumbles like a biiiig loud bear. But...he's the prettiest damn bear you ever saw!"_

_The baby stopped crying and listened as the redhead's deep, soothing voice went on, his wide brown eyes blinking curiously as he sucked on his fingers._

_"Yup, they don't come prettier than that guy. And you love when he tells those stories, right? Well, if you want him to have the energy to tell you all of those awesome stories, then you have to let the poor guy get some shuteye, you get me? So, knock off the crying and get to sleep, okay?"_

_"Do you really think that will work?" Byakuya asked, arching a fine eyebrow._

_"Huh? Oh, that? Yeah, it works just fine," Renji explained, "Down in the Rukongai, we'd take in a baby sometimes and it seemed like the words didn't matter. What mattered was the tone. And they really like it if you sing."_

_He laughed softly, remembering._

_"Damn, we'd make up all sorts of weird songs and sing'em to lullabies. Of course, half the time we'd start laughing and wake the poor kids up. So, I guess it only works if you don't laugh too easily...which I do."_

_"Well, you seem to have lulled him back to sleep, so if you can put him back down without waking him up, I shall show you my gratitude for you soothing him so that I did not have to._ "

_"Well, you kinda defeated the purpose of me coming in here and quieting him down by getting up too, but hey, who am I to turn down an offer like that?" Renji mused, smiling and nipping at the noble's lips before carrying their infant back to the bed and laying him down cautiously. They left the baby's room and moved silently back to their own, sliding back into bed, then curling warmly into each other's arms._

_"Shouldn't you be getting some sleep?" Renji asked as Byakuya sank into his mouth and laid down on top of him, rubbing teasingly against him, "You're not exactly a night owl like me."_

_"I will sleep as soon as I have expressed my gratitude, as promised," Byakuya breathed into his ear._

_"Oh, are you going to be tired in the morning."_

_"But it will be worth it," he whispered, looking deeply into the redhead's amorous eyes, "I love you, Renji."_

_"Aw hell, I love you too!" Renji exclaimed, tearing at their clothes and attacking his mouth hungrily._

_The two froze as a baby's cry sounded, then exchanged amused glances and laughed as they exited the bed again._

Byakuya's eyes opened and looked out at the fully risen moon, his heart aching, but in the most unspeakably beautiful way.

_I wonder what will happen when I go to Karakura Town...when I tell him._

_I wonder..._


	12. Setting the Stage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renji prepares to pop the question!

Byakuya woke early and reclaimed his clothes from the closet near his hospital bed. Not waiting for his attendant to arrive from the manor, he dressed himself and checked out of the fourth division, then walked slowly in the morning coolness to the sixth division, where he found another hell butterfly arriving with location information for the mission with Renji. Hearing the sound of the redhead's cheerful voice sent delightful flutters through him, followed by a bout of more anxious ones as he wondered what the handsome redhead was thinking about his obviously lovestruck taichou. He pushed the thought aside and dove into his work, emerging as the hour neared when he knew the Kuchiki elders would be gathering for their morning meeting.

He set his work aside and left the sixth, heading towards Kuchiki Manor, then turning off just before. He was vaguely surprised that Tetsuya did not appear, but quickly moved on to other concerns as he neared the meeting place of his family's governing council. He ascended the steps into the council hall and moved to the meeting chamber door, only to find the chamber standing unexpectedly empty. His dark grey eyes blinked curiously and he touched a passing clan courier lightly on the arm to stop and question him.

"Pardon me, but is the council not meeting this morning?" he asked.

"Oh, I heard the meeting was cancelled for today," the young man informed him, "I'm not sure why, sir."

"Hmmm."

His mind still distracted, he brushed off the incident and returned home, where Torio met him in his dressing area and removed his uniform, then dressed him in a plain white yukata. They proceeded to the bathing chamber together, where Torio undressed and bathed him.

"Torio, have you seen Tetsuya, today?" he asked.

"He was here this morning," the attendant remembered, "but he said that he had something to do. I am sure he will be back soon."

But his cousin did not reappear, even as Byakuya finished his bathing and dressed, then enjoyed a leisurely lunch in the gardens. Finishing that, he left the manor and walked to the central senkaimon, where he passed through the precipice world and dropped down into Karakura Town. After meeting briefly with Urahara Kisuke to obtain a gigai for the mission, he followed the directions Renji had sent and arrived at their meeting place, a tall building that housed an exclusive arts college and school of music. Soft strains of music emanated from the rooms he passed as he honed in on the place he had been instructed to meet his fukutaichou. He reached the room and felt a strange inward throb of anxiety, but set it aside and entered and found Renji speaking to two studio technicians, who noted his arrival and took their leave of the redhead.

"Ah, you're right on time, Taichou," he said approvingly, "I'll give you the rundown on the mission first, and then we have to practice, okay?"

"Practice?" Byakuya repeated curiously, "Practice what?"

"Well, what's up is that there is a formal wedding being held that is actually a cover for a top secret meeting of Aizen's supporters here in Karakura Town. You and I are going to be infiltrating the event, posing as musical performers at the wedding. We have to sing music during the ceremony and reception, but we'll also be attempting to listen in and find out where the meeting will take place."

"Hmmm, the Gotei has been seeking to learn as much as they can about who is assisting Aizen in setting the groundwork for his next move. It would be a great stroke of luck strategically if we could overhear enough to put his plans out of commission. Especially if we can do so without needing to engage in a head on confrontation."

"Right!" Renji agreed enthusiastically, "Now, the mission was sent to us because I have a background in rock music and the military records said you had musical and vocal training."

"Yes, but, I have never performed in front of people, Abarai," Byakuya confessed, "It would be unseemly for a clan leader to..."

"Uh-huh," the redhead agreed, "that's a reason Aizen wouldn't ever suspect it was you under the gigai you'll be wearing. Our disguises and the fact he wouldn't expect us to be there should put us in the perfect position to get the information we need."

Byakuya considered quietly for a few moments, then shook his head.

"I don't know. It's risky putting me in there with less experience. I am sure you will do well, given proper training and actual ability. I..."

"Leave that to me, Taichou," Renji said, grinning, "You give me a few hours and I'll have you looking like you were born singing in front of people! Look, we really are the only taichou/fukutaichou team with the right experience to do this. And I promise you, I will train you up so well that even you won't know we're only acting!"

"W-well," Byakuya said hesitantly, "it is a very critical mission, and I saw you perform before in the living world and you are very talented."

"Whoa, wait," Renji said, looking surprised, "You say you saw me sing in the living world? When was that?"

"Oh, it was ages ago," Byakuya remembered, "You were singing and practicing just about everywhere you went for several weeks. I asked you about it and you told me that it was a private affair, a party at Urahara Kisuke's shop in honor of Ichigo's birthday. I was...curious, so when I was given a short mission around that time and was in the area anyway, I visited the shop and was conversing with Urahara while you were performing."

Renji gave him a dumbstruck look.

"But Taichou, if you were there to see me do that, why didn't you come in and join us? You know Ichigo would have loved having you there. And you never said a word about the whole thing. Why not?"

"Hmmm, well, I wasn't exactly an invited guest. I supposed it was more polite to not be involved. I apologize for intruding, but I did enjoy your performance, Abarai."

"You did?" Renji asked, looking pleased, "Really?"

"Of course," Byakuya answered, "It wasn't even just that you sang well. It was that you have a certain character, a charisma about you that makes you stand out. People can't help but notice you."

"Eh, that's just the tattoos," the redhead mused, smirking.

"No, it is your personal aura," Byakuya corrected him, "Such a thing is critical for performance, and while you excel in that area, I don't think I have that characteristic."

"Sure you do," Renji insisted, moving closer to stand in front of him, "I think you have the most beautiful face kami ever put on a shinigami."

"Renji," Byakuya said, blushing.

"Aww, c'mon, everyone knows you're beautiful, Taichou. Everybody says it."

"But good looks don't make a person able to perform publicly."

"What are you talking about? You perform publicly all of the time. You've complained about it before, how you always have to wear a different face wherever you go and put on this face or that. You are a great performer all of the time. You just got so good at it, you forgot it was an act. You'll be great. And it won't just be your face they like, you have a good voice, at least, the records described your voice as exceptional."

Byakuya sighed.

"The heir is always trained extensively in writing, speaking, languages, dancing and vocals. We are often attending family functions and are asked to make speeches, to dance with a newlywed or to sing a short song for someone being honored."

"Well, that's a stroke of good luck because that's exactly what this mission calls for. Now, the most important piece we'll be performing is during the time when usually the wedding march is played. The marrying couple is very unique and this song is their special song. It's sung in the parts of two lovers."

"But we are both male," Byakuya noted, "Are the wedding couple?"

"Yeah, long story, anyway, you'll be up in front of the guests and will sing this part," Renji went on, holding up several music sheets and pointing out the section, "This guy loves another guy, has forever, but he doesn't know how to get the point across. He must have tried everything but singing it to the guy he loves."

Byakuya studied the notes and lyrics, sighing very softly and marveling at how close he was to the person, he too, had loved but hadn't been noticed by.

_I wonder if he'll ever say anything. I know I told him. And he hasn't said a word or given a sign._

_Renji..._

"Hey Taichou, you still with me?" Renji asked, breaking him out of his reverie.

"Oh, yes Renji, go on."

"Okay, I'll be standing on the other side of the staged area that the couple will be walking to and singing the backup part here."

"Why don't you sing the lead vocal?" Byakuya asked, frowning, "As I said, you have more experience singing in front of people."

"Yeah, but you have the face that will make people cry and want you to get your true love's attention. That's more important."

"But...I am not the one getting married," Byakuya pointed out, "And I do not want to upstage the wedding couple."

"Ah, you won't," Renji chuckled, "Believe me, I ran this past the wedding coordinator and he thought it was amazing."

"Hmmm, you know, you keep talking about my face, but we'll be wearing gigais."

"Even your gigai will be beautiful, Taichou," Renji countered.

"But why doesn't Urahara just have yours made like that? Not that I think you need it, but you seem to make a large issue of my looks and yours are even more attractive, just in a wilder way, rather than a more traditional sense."

"Aw, thanks Taichou?" Renji said, smiling, "But you're not getting out of this. Now, come on. We have to practice. Sit down over here and lets go through the main number, the one for the ceremony."

"Oh, very well," the noble capitulated.

_I suppose it will make some kind of ironic sense that I will be singing to Renji about having fallen in love and him not seeing it. I told him. I know I did. He must just not be interested, but if that's so, I wish he'd just break my heart and get it over with. This is torture. I should be singing about how beautiful he is and how much he isn't interested in me. Ironic, since he insists I'm so beautiful._

Renji walked over to a computer and tapped at the keys for a moment, then introductory music sounded.

"I don't know about this Renji," Byakuya said, in a last ditch effort to avoid the inevitable.

"Stop it," Renji said, looking into his eyes in a way that made him freeze, then drew out the words, whether he wanted to sing them or not.

 _It's cruel_ , Byakuya thought as he sang the words to Renji that seemed to have been written in his own heart, _To you, this is acting. To me, it is all too real._

Renji's deep voice fell in under his, gently supporting and lifting the romantic tune from lovely to stellar. And gradually, the blending of their voices and the words became too beautiful for him to think of anything but how much he wished it was all real. They practiced the song together numerous times, carrying the afternoon into evening before Renji nodded his approval and slipped the musical sheets into his pack.

"You want to go and get some dinner, Taichou?" the redhead asked, "then I'll take you to the hotel where we're staying."

Byakuya paused, considering the question.

_The sad part is that going with him would only make this a more perfect evening. And the more perfect it becomes, the more painful it is._

"I do not think I feel well enough to go out," he admitted quietly, "I am rather tired. Why don't you..."

"Then, let's pick up something on the way," Renji suggested before he could finish.

_Why does this man not understand, he is making things nearly unbearable by being so damned accomodating? the noble mused inwardly._

But he couldn't think of a proper reason to refuse, so he only nodded briefly and moved alongside Renji and the redhead led him out of the building and to a small restaurant that Byakuya remembered they had visited while on assignment some months before. Renji even remembered his exact likings and ordered his meal perfectly from memory. But rather than making him feel warm inside, it only deepened his melancholy. But it would, he thought, have been unconscionably rude to insult Renji by not eating, so he followed his smiling and chatty fukutaichou to the hotel and ate enough to show his gratitude before retreating into his room in the suite and walking out onto the balcony.

Byakuya gazed silently up at the moon, wondering at how it could be surrounded on all sides by stars, but could still look so lonely. It was lovely, of course, in its loneliness, but it just couldn't seem to feel the love of the ones who looked up and admired, some even worshipping nightly as it made its journey through the darkened skies. He longed to feel some connection with the beautiful glowing sphere, but only felt quiet and solitude. He remained on the balcony until after he would normally have gone to sleep, then stumbled sleepily into his room and undressed.

He was about to lie down, when he sensed a flicker of disturbed reiatsu somewhere in the area of Renji's bedroom. Frowning, he stepped out into the common area of the suite and found the redhead sprawled on the couch, shifting as he tried to position his too long, lanky frame for sleep.

"Abarai, is something wrong?" Byakuya asked curiously, "I know that this suite has two beds. Is there something wrong with yours?"

"Yeah," the redhead yawned, "There are some bad springs in it or something, I guess. Don't worry about it. I'm fine here."

Byakuya's frown deepened. He considered just ordering his subordinate to have the staff switch out the mattress and be done with it.

_It would be the logical answer, would it not?_

Then, another thought occurred to him.

_Could Renji be...?_

He pushed away the possibility and looked down at Renji through sleepy eyes.

"I don't suppose either of us will get any sleep with you tossing and turning on that sofa," he said, trying to sound unconcerned, "Come and share my bed. We've slept next to each other on the battlefield. We can do the same for tonight. We need to be well rested so that we do not do something stupid and reveal ourselves to the enemy we are trying to spy on."

"Oh, I don't want to bother you...and I snore pretty loudly."

"I will wear earplugs," the noble said shortly, "Go."

Renji gave him a lopsided smile and abandoned the couch for the much more comfortable bed in the noble's side of the suite. Byakuya glanced at his collapsed form, then back at the room on Renji's side, his mind a bit curious. He went into the bathroom and enjoyed a hot shower, then emerged to the sound of Renji's snoring. Reclaiming his sleeping yukata, he slipped into the redhead's side of the room and examined the bed.

 _That's odd_ , he noted, There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with it.

He looked in the direction of his room, where Renji laid, comfortably sleeping.

_If he is interested in me...if he wanted to sleep next to me, why didn't he just say that he is attracted to me? He knows I am interested, why is he...?_

Feeling mystified, but too sleepy to ponder the matter further, and unwilling to say anything due to the small chance of him having misunderstood Renji's intention completely, he decided instead, to take the offered comfort of curling up at Renji's side, turned away, but with their backs lightly touching. He breathed in the other man's pleasant, masculine scent and enjoyed the closeness of Renji's less controlled reiatsu.

_The only thing better would be to be in his arms, he thought sleepily._

He relaxed and tried to let himself drop off, but sleep seemed oddly elusive. He breathed in and out slowly, listening quietly to Renji's snoring and surprised at how, rather than feeling bothered by it, he found it strangely endearing. He turned slightly and lifted himself to admire the redhead's tattooed face and neck in the moonlight, then caught his breath in surprise as Renji rolled onto his back, setting the noble off balance and bringing him down on the redhead's very warm, muscular shoulder. Byakuya froze and shut his eyes, relaxing as much as possible and breathing slowly and regularly as he sensed that one of Renji's eyes had opened and was looking at him. He waited breathlessly to hear his subordinate's quick apology, but instead, felt that watching eye blink slowly, then close again.

 _What does this mean?_ Byakuya wondered wearily, _Is he just comfortable with me or does Renji love me?_

He wondered at himself for not immediately just asking to end all of the drama and have an outcome, one way or another.

 _I suppose it's not a bad thing to give myself one more night to just dream_ , he concluded, burrowing deeper into Renji's shoulder and missing entirely the affectionate look it earned from the not-so-sleeping redhead.

 _Tomorrow_ , Renji thought, _Tomorrow, everything will change_.


	13. The One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The magic moment arrives!

Renji flinched as he heard Zabimaru's low growl rise up in his sleeping mind.

 _Wake up, Renji_ , the voices of Chimpette and Snakey called together.

He started to sit up, but felt his zanpakutou spirit's reiatsu curl around him and hold him still.

 _You said to wake you before him and to have Senbonzakura keep him sleeping while you get your lazy ass out of bed_ , Chimpette reminded him.

"Mmmmm..." Renji moaned softly.

 _Baka! Be quiet! And don't look at him_ , Snakey hissed, _It's bad luck to see him before the wedding._

Renji smiled.

_That's right. Thanks, Guys._

He turned his head away from Byakuya before opening his eyes, then slowly extracted himself from the arms that had wrapped around him during the night.

_Damn, that's sweet! I wish I could look at him. He looks beautiful sleeping and all lit up in the moonlight...but the moonlight's leaving and I have to get ready._

_Man is he ever going to be surprised!_

Renji slipped out of the bed, careful to avoid moving it too much or looking back as he hurried out the door of Byakuya's side of the suite and back into his own. He dove into his closet and took out the formal kimono he'd had made, then dressed slowly, making sure that everything was fastened correctly and that there were no wrinkles anywhere. Moving on to the bathroom, he brushed out every tangle in the long, thick strands of autumn hair and carefully re-braided it, letting it curl down over his left shoulder. He turned this way and that, checking every last inch of himself, then looked sternly into his eyes in the mirror.

"Okay. This is the most important thing you'll ever do, Renji. You've got to go out there and do everything right. No tripping over things, especially not your tongue. No looking stupid. You've got a once-in-a-lifetime chance to really impress this guy you've admired and loved forever. Do this right and you'll knock his socks off..."

He paused for a moment, his heart pounding and his mind suffering flashes of him saying stupid things, tripping in the aisle and dumping his drink down the front of Byakuya's beautiful, brand new kimono.

He couldn't keep himself from shivering nervously.

"Come on, come on," he chided himself, "Focus, Renji. This is the most beautiful guy in all of the three worlds and he confessed to loving you! You...this...clumsy, lanky little Rukongai peasant, he..."

 _You forgot foulmouthed, lazy and so not deserving of him_ , Snakey quipped.

"Shut up, will you?" Renji complained, "I can't screw this up! His family's going to be there...all those elders from the council, and some of them are probably just coming to see me embarrass Taichou. I can't do that in front of everyone! You guys, you have to help me!"

He stopped himself forcibly, grimacing at the thought.

"On second thought, m-maybe you shouldn't help me..."

_Hey!_

"Sorry, okay?" Renji pleaded, scowling at his face in the mirror, "This just...it means a lot. Taichou means the world to me. Maybe I started out being angry and wanting to beat him because he stole Rukia from me, but we've come a long way. He's changed...I've changed. Hell, everything has changed, hasn't it?"

 _Awwwww_ , Snakey drawled, _wittle Wenji's in wuv with Kuchiki taichou! So cute!_

Within Renji's inner world, his two zanpakutou spirits exchanged glances and shook their heads.

_He's going to screw up and fall on his face._

"Hey, I heard that!" Renji yelled.

 _Shut up, baka_! Chimpette snapped, _You almost woke him_.

"Oh man," Renji panted anxiously, "What was I thinking? I can't do this! I mean, Taichou's...smart. He's beautiful and he's not going to agree to this. He may be in love with me, but maybe this wasn't the way to go, you know? What if he says no or the elders did this to make a mockery of me or...oh shit...oh shit, oh shit oh shit! What do I do? What do I do?"

Renji froze and blinked in surprise as a warm hand touched his shoulder. Stunned, he turned around to face the person behind him.

"Oh, Taichou, I..."

He broke off as he encountered, not Byakuya, but the manifested spirit that inhabited his taichou's sword.

"S-senbonzakura," he stammered, "I thought you were keeping Taichou asleep!"

"It's hard to do that with you yelling and disturbing the reiatsu in the room," the masked Samurai said solemnly.

"Yeah," Renji agreed, drooping, "sorry about that. I just...I want it to be perfect for him. He's the most amazing guy and he fell in love with me, of all people. I don't how or why that happened. I only know it's the best thing in the world that's ever happened to me, and I want to make him happy."

"You will make him happy," Senbonzakura said firmly, "But...you will only do so if you stop forgetting everything you have learned and act like a man worth loving!"

"Eh?" Renji mused, blinking.

"Stand up straight!" the spirit commanded, making Renji jolt upright as Senbonzakura examined his kimono and made several adjustments.

"Ow!" Renji complained, "That's pretty damned tight. I have to be able to move, you know."

"No foul language," Sen snapped softly, "Look into his eyes when you speak to him...when you start to sing to him. You are about to become part of a noble family and you need to look the part."

"Look what part?" Renji asked in a panicked tone, "I kind of stick out like a sore thumb, you know. What noble has bright red hair and is covered all over in tattoos! Oh man, I can't do this. I..."

Renji's breath left him and his cheek stung as the Samurai's hand swatted him on the face.

"Whoa! Ow, hey!"

"SHHH!" Sen hissed furiously, "Stand up straight, fool! Do you think that Byakuya wants to be married to some little coward who can't even stand in front of the elders and proudly profess his love? Why do you think they accepted this? Why did they agree to come to the wedding and support you?"

"Eh...because I kind of agreed to let myself get...?"

"No, baka! That's not why. He could have made an heir with anyone they chose for him! They chose you because you have become very strong, and you showed them your courage by standing in their presence and announcing your love, then negotiating with them for his hand. That took and enormous amount of love and bravery. That is what the elders saw in you, and that is what you want them to see today at the wedding."

"Senbonzakura," Renji pleaded softly, "can you just tell me? Why in kami's name did Taichou fall in love with me? Why me, of all people? He's beautiful and rich. He could have anyone! Why me?"

Senbonzakura surprised him with a soft laugh.

"What? What does that mean?" Renji objected as the spirit began to fade away.

 _I'm sorry_ , Sen whispered as he disappeared, _that's something that he would have to tell you_.

"Bastard!" Renji whimpered, blinking back frustrated tears, "Some help you are..."

He looked at himself in the mirror, thinking deeply.

"Okay, I don't need those idiots. I don't need anyone. I was strong enough to survive the lower fucking Rukongai and to throw myself into a battle with him, I can ask the guy to marry me in front of a garden full of elders and friends. I can do this...I can do this...I can do this..."

He took a last look in the mirror, then exited the bathroom, still whispering the words as he escaped the hotel room.

"I can do this...I can do this...I can do this..."

Behind him, the three zanpakutou spirits appeared and watched him go.

"He's going to fall on his face, isn't he?" Chimpette said sadly.

"Totally," Snakey agreed, "Don't you think, Senbonzakura?"

The samurai kept his gaze in the direction Renji had gone and shook his head very slightly.

"Perhaps," he said, smirking under his mask, "but that is part of what my master loves about that man. Nothing that happens ever stops him. If he falls on his face, he gets back up. Byakuya respects that about him. He loves Renji's courage."

"What courage?" Chimpette said, crossing her arms across her large breasts, "He was a mess! His legs were shaking and he barely got out of the room without waking Byakuya."

"And still, he took those steps," Sen said proudly, " _Admirable_."

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya woke and found himself alone in the bed. He suffered a moment of regret, wondering if he had been too forthcoming or if Renji had been made uncomfortable by their unintended cuddling.

_But I know he set it up for us to spend the night in this bed together. Was it that I didn't say anything? Did he want me to try to kiss him? I just don't know._

_It's funny._

_I usually read Renji very well, but since I told him what I did, it's like I can't see inside his mind anymore. I wonder if it's that he's closing his mind or that I'm afraid of looking._

He climbed out of the bed and found a note on the night table.

_Taichou,_

_I've gone on ahead to help get things set up for the operation today. There is a lot riding on this, and we want to be sure we pick up some good intelligence on Aizen while concealed at the wedding. Look in the closet. There is a kimono in your closet that is actually a gigai. While wearing it, you will see yourself like you are, but everyone else will see you as merely a performer at the wedding. I'll be wearing one too, but you'll be able to see through that. If you see anyone you think you know, they are probably operatives in disguise. Don't worry about that. Once you start singing, everyone's going to be focused on you. We can pick up intelligence until the wedding starts, then other operatives will listen in until the reception._

_Thanks for agreeing to do this. I know you wouldn't usually sing in front of people, but you have a wonderful voice. The people who will be there today will hear and see something magical._

_See you there,_

_Renji_

Byakuya sighed and set the letter down.

_How did I get myself into this? Singing in front of people? I'm glad I'll be wearing a disguise. Our elders would faint if they saw me doing this. Knowing me as they do, they also probably wouldn't miss that I am head over heels in love with Renji. But there is nowhere to go but forward._

He walked to the closet and opened the door, and he found a garment bag hanging inside. Pale hands unzipped the protective cover, then froze at the sight of the stunningly beautiful kimono within it.

_This is a gigai? he wondered, letting his fingers touch the fine fabric, This is...incredible, but so much for not upstaging the marrying couple. I don't know if I should wear this, but there isn't time for an alternative. I will have to trust Renji's judgment._

He paused and fought off an invading smile.

_He can suffer from lapses of judgment, but he is the one running this operation, and he has seen to every detail so far with the skill and attention he should. I will trust him._

He dressed slowly, savoring the touch and sight of how perfectly the kimono gigai wrapped around every curve of his body, embracing him and bringing out his beauty.

_If this was our wedding day, this is what I would want to wear. It's perfect..._

When he was dressed, he left the hotel and followed the directions he had been given. To his surprise, when he arrived, the guests were everywhere and Renji was nowhere to be found.

_What is this? Did I have the time wrong? Did Renji give me the wrong time by mistake?_

"Ah, you're here!" a male voice called out.

A tall, frantic looking man approached him and took him by the arm.

"I am the wedding coordinator. I'm so sorry, Kuchiki taichou, so sorry! It's not your fault or Abarai fukutaichou's. There was a mix-up on our end. Come this way. The wedding is about to start. Please...come with me!"

Byakuya fell in with the coordinator and followed him into the large mansion that had been rented for the occasion. He frowned as he caught glimpses of several familiar faces, the remembered Renji's note and put it out of his mind.

"You will go out in front of the guests and sing the song that you practiced with Abarai-san," the coordinator directed him, "Don't worry about anything else. We will be conducting the surveillance during the wedding, and then, you and Abarai-san can assist us during the reception."

Byakuya frowned.

"You need to be more precise in your handling of future covert operations," he scolded the man, "Lives could be endangered because of even small errors."

"Yes sir," the coordinator said, blushing, "I'm...very, very sorry. Please, take your place now."

Byakuya walked out onto the raised platform that had been set in front of the rows of seats that were filled with party guests. His eyes were stricken by the bright lights, so he couldn't see their faces. He kept his face calm and looked around the stage area for Renji, then, not seeing him, waited for Renji to appear at his side. His heart flickered worriedly in his chest as the lights dimmed and soft mist rose up around his feet, while the musicians positioned near the stage began to play the song they had been practicing.

_I will have to just begin. It won't be as enjoyable without Renji's vocal, but there is nothing else to do..._

The musical intro ended, and Byakuya paused for a moment, taking a readying breath, than began to sing.

 _It's almost perfect_ , he thought as he loosed the words, _Like the song says, I have loved you forever and I have done everything except this...except just singing the words to you. And nothing I've done has reached you. I still don't know for certain if you know. And if you do, Renji, can you love me too?_

_Where are you, Renji?_

_It's almost time._

He felt a shiver of surprise as Renji entered, not from the edge of the stage, but from the end of the aisle.

 _I am glad this coordinator will never plan a wedding for me_ , Byakuya mused as he continued to sing, _this is sure to upstage the wedding couple._

He frowned as Renji began to sing and walk up the aisle towards him, then suddenly, the faces of the people in front of them started to shift and change before his eyes.

_What is happening?_

_Wait a minute! I know this power. It's not Aizen's illusion. I am looking at reflections caused by Tetsuya's zanpakutou!_

The faces of the people in front of him cleared, and he spotted Tetsuya, Rukia, the Gotei taichous and fukutaichous and the full contingent of the Kuchiki council of elders.

 _I have to be dreaming_ , he thought, barely able to keep his voice steady, _The elders would never_...

_They wouldn't..._

_...but..._

His heart pounded as Renji moved closer to him and the music continued.

 _There is no wedding couple here. This is...for us_! he realized, the truth striking him soundly and making the music ring loudly in his ears, _Renji...did this for us?_

His mind froze and he stopped singing as Renji ascended the steps and faced him, smiling and dropping onto one knee, then taking his hand.

"Renji?" Byakuya whispered, painfully aware that everyone they knew was out there watching, "Wh-what...?"

"I love you too, Taichou," Renji said, smiling, "I wanted to tell you that...and...I want to ask you...will you marry me?"

Byakuya stared at the kneeling redhead, then looked warily out at the crowd.

"Is this real?" he breathed, "Is everyone out there...really here?"

"It's real, Taichou," Renji said, turning his hand over and kissing his palm gently, "I love you just like you love me, and I want to get married to you in front of all our friends and family. Will you do that? Will you marry me?"

"How did you...do this?" Byakuya asked wonderingly, "How did you convince them? How did you arrange all of this?"

Renji swallowed hard and laughed anxiously.

"Well, I had some help from your granduncle Nori and from Tetsuya and Rukia, getting everything in place and everyone here and disguised."

"You did all of that...for me?" Byakuya whispered, feeling a strange burning in his eyes, "You really love me that much?"

"Huh," Renji huffed, a tear leaking onto his face, "We just sang it to each other. I think we've been practically yelling it at each other for a long time. I want to make it official. Please say you'll marry me!"

Byakuya stood for one breathless moment, looking down into Renji's eyes and fully aware of the perfection of the moment, how they were dressed beautifully, looking into each other's eyes and surrounded by everyone alive who he could have wanted to be there. His heart wanted to burst from his chest, but he ignored the dangerous feeling and smiled at Renji.

"Yes, Renji," he answered, "I will marry you, here and now."

Everything seemed to disappear then into a haze of light and sound. Byakuya barely heard the words of Elder Nori as he performed the service and he wasn't sure how he managed to give the right answers. All that reached him was that Renji's red-brown eyes were looking into his, and those wonderful, rough hands were grasping his and sweating with anxiety.

 _I couldn't ask for more_ , he mused as they moved to seal their joining with a long, deep neverending kiss, _This is the most beautiful moment of my life, Renji, and I am glad that we are sharing it._

_Thank you, Renji._

THE END

(AN**IF you enjoyed this story, I will be writing a sequel that will begin with Byakuya and Renji's wedding night! Thanks so much for reading! Love, Spunky.)


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